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Do women not like men to touch their breasts in intimacy?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 February 2010) 8 Answers - (Newest, 6 March 2010)
A female Australia age 30-35, *nsecure82 writes:

Hi,

I'm really confused and I know this will sound weird to many people but I need some help.

My boyfriend and I have wonderful intimacy. I love my breasts being touched as much as I love kissing and intercourse. I am also a very giving lover.

My boyfriend thinks my need to have my breasts touched or focussed on is weird as none of his other girlfriends or lovers (and he has had a few) liked having their breasts touched or focussed on at all.

This depresses me as I want him to want to touch them and the rest of me, to equal my need to have them touched.

He said most girls he has been with have not had sensitivity in their breasts and that he thought this was normal.

I feel he does not believe my sexuality as he seems to think women would prefer their vagina or butt to be focused on.

He is patient and loving but I'm feeling disconnected already.

Am I really that unusual? Do many women dislike their breasts being touched in intimacy ? Why ?

View related questions: breasts, kissing, vagina

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2010):

No! Infact the women I am with now and most of the ones I dated LOVED having their breast touched, fondled and many other forms of pleasure done to them. Chances are his other partners might of had some bad experience with their breasts or just didn't like it. For a good sexual relationship you need communication, so just talk with him and explain that you understand his other lovers did not like to be touched there but you are not them. That many women love their breasts focused on, and if he need further proof have him read the study of Dr. Masters and Johnson. But dear you are normal.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2010):

Everyone has given a great answer on what you should do but I wanted to say this: you are not the only one who likes the boobies to be touched among other things done to them ;) So you are not alone on that. Your beau needs to understand what you like as you understand what he likes. Best of luck

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A male reader, DoubleM United States +, writes (13 February 2010):

DoubleM agony auntBased on my personal experience for more than 45 years as a man, you are closer to normal, and he and his priors more abnormal.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States + , writes (12 February 2010):

Tisha-1 agony auntThe thing he has to understand is that what other women like or don't like doesn't matter at all. It's not THEM he's making love to, it's YOU, and he should be listening to your desires, just as you do to his.

Lots and lots of women like breast stimulation; don't let him convince you that you are weird. You are not; you are perfectly normal.

What is abnormal is his unwillingness to listen to you as to what you do like. That is a sign of an inconsiderate and selfish lover. Perhaps this is the reason he hasn't been able to keep a girlfriend?

Be patient, and be firm, let him know how arousing you find breast stimulation by letting him hear and see how wonderful it feels for you. You could do some subtle 'training' by not reacting to the vaginal or anal contact as strongly. Go wild when he touches your breasts the way you want them touched, and if he heads straight for the vagina without any foreplay involving the breasts, gently redirect him by touching them yourself.

By the way, he does know about your clitoris, doesn't he? He may need an anatomy and physiology refresher course.

The key to this is getting him to look upon your sexual needs as important and valid! He cannot assume he knows all about you from his previous encounters with other women; he does not, obviously.

So, to recap. You are normal. You would like him to touch your breasts. This is normal, this is very common. What other women did or didn't like has absolutely nothing to do with what you like or don't like. He's not in bed with the other women, so why behave as if he is? Be gentle, be loving and patient, but BE FIRM.

Good luck.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2010):

you are not weird at all, I also love my breasts being touched/licked/played with. Its a real turn on and feels great. He should really be happy about this, my bf is :-). All girls are different, you are not one of his exs so he should be makin sure he's satisfying you the way you like, not like he has done with his ex girlfriends. Everyones different

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2010):

I've dated girls who were both ways. One could orgasm just from having her nipples rubbed the right way. But, I'm getting sidetracked.

The real issue is that he has to realize that you want this and he has to be comfortable doing it for YOU. He has to realize that your relationship goes both ways, and may have to make a sacrifice (not that I think it is really a sacrifice at all) for the good of your relationship and sex life. Everyone is wired differently, if that's your thing, he should get into it. That will only help you to get closer to eachother.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2010):

Hi,

I also love my breast to be touched when we are being intimate with each other. Everyone is different. I know my boyfriend likes for me to play with his balls when we are having sex. This is something that is different for all guys and girls. Some women are more sensitive and having their breast touched turns them on. Explain to your partner that it is important to you. If he blows you off and does not understand then maybe he is not right for you. I know my boyfriend always makes sure he satisfyies me in bed and he does not question why i like it. Tell him it feels good for you and he should want to make you feel good...maybe you could make him feel good in return. It is important for both of you to make each other happy.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2010):

Hunh? I thought women like them being touched and men like touching them.

Well, sure when I was a teen, I used to think men were just too preoccupied with breasts. But over time as you understand your body better you see what pleasures or does not.

The point is not what his other girlfriends wanted. The point is, is he happy to touch them? My boyfriend finds some things hot about me, which I never thought about. But now that I know he's showing desire by reaching those places, it turns me on. Ditto for him. I find some parts of his fascinating which perhaps others did not, so he likes it too.

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