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Do women find men masterbating a turn off?

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Question - (18 August 2007) 68 Answers - (Newest, 1 June 2012)
A male Canada age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I was wonderin if women find a guy masterbating a turn-off and how much times a day is too much? any help is appreciated

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A male reader, jaimea16 United States +, writes (1 June 2012):

Masturbating in front of a girl has always been a fantasy of mine I've talked to a lot of girls who are fascinated by the way everything happens some women arent its really a preference

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2010):

lets get this out of the way, we all masterbate!

I find it erotic to watch my partner masterbate and its a real turn on to bigger things.

As far as the guy goes, we love to masterbate with or without our partner present.

Any women feel the same or like to chat with me more about this...Ed

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010):

I mean... There are a lot of girls who have their guys masterbate... But not only that, the girl also masterbates. So I don't see how this is a huge problem... Hope I helped a little!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2009):

It is so sexy when a man jacks off. I love watching it ooz, fly or dribble it doesn't matter. Sometimes I like to taste it. Other times I want to touch it and feel the texture. I love a man's facial expression and to hear him moan. So natural and exciting.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2009):

My wife loves for us both to masterbate. She will masterbate first and then she will want me to also. When I start to cum she then takes over and finshes while she kisses me. We are both very comfortable with this as she really gets tuned on.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2009):

im not really sure. as far as i can tell most women find masturbating a huge turn off. then again if you have a wife/girlfriend and she likes having sex on a regular basis there is not much need for masturbating, but thats just my opinion

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2009):

I personally find it a turn on when my fiance masturbates...I enjoy watchin him masturbate it turns me on so much...I get off watching him masturbate & he gets off watching me so yea...I think it just depends on the woman

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2009):

My wife gets off when she sees me masterbating. BIG Orgasms. She also enjoys masterbating me and she climaxes over and over again

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2009):

I have masturbated in front of girls before and love it. I take off all my clothes and get on the bed and just go for it. I find that the girls really like seeing me cum, especially when it is a very intense orgasm.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2009):

I have been married for 26 years now. There are times that My wife and I have shared a maturbating session together. I really Like to watch my wife, and I will participate in one way or another. I am not one of the men that can masterbate every day, and more than once can really foul up a good night with my wife. I have found out through masturbation, I am less likly to cum before my wife. I have always wanted to make sure that she was able to get off at least one time before I did, when we are making love. It is probably me, but I am just a one shot deal, after that, and I am older. I can not have another shot. I wish I could have more than one during the course of making love to my wife. In fact, I think that it is pretty awsome that woman can cum many times. To finish I think that it is up to the couple to find out what works best for them. Like I said, I have been with the same woman for many years, I have never strayed from the marriage. I hope this helps.

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A female reader, deewhizz Ireland +, writes (21 June 2009):

no i find it a really big turn on when guys masterbate :) lol guys find it hot when girls masterbate so i don't see how it could be any different!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009):

Im 14 and masterbate daily. I got my first org. at 11 and it felt sooooooo good. I think thers nothing wrond with masterbation

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2009):

My wife loves to watch me masterbate,playing with myself and comeing. It,s just a part of good sex.She often likes to play with herself as well witch I like watching.This often happens on days or mornings when we do not have time for long sex sessions.She will often cum 3 or 4 times while the coffe is perking.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2009):

I think its a turn ON. When I watch my boyfriend masterbate I often join in and masterbate too!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2009):

its hot and sexy

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2009):

Ok, yes masterbating is a turn off cos it makes you feel that your second best! And whether they do it once or ten times a day, its never too much for them. I say, if they enjoy masterbating so much, they shouldn't be with a partner unless their partner don't mind!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2009):

Ok, yes masterbating is a turn off cos it makes you feel that your second best! And whether they do it once or ten times a day, its never too much for them. I say, if they enjoy masterbating so much, they shouldn't be with a partner unless their partner don't mind!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2009):

i do it almost daily, whether or not we've had sex or are going to, and i have no qualms with him doing it. as far as being a turn on, i find seeing my guy in that moment very arousing especially if he's doing it for me. that he is comdortable enough is hot on so many levels, because of how intimate it is to share something private like that. also the way he tenses and arches slightly...and the little noises he makes....sooooooo hot. i suppose too much masturbation would only be if he loses interest in our sex life, but really that's his business and i'm not going to put a number or limit on it. as long as the relationship works, its more than ok. and if masturbation becomes that big of an issue, it probably means a bigger issue is at the root of it, and that's what would need to be dealt with.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2009):

I'm a 50 guy and enjoy masterbating daily,sometimes a quickie, sometimes a longer session that may go on for an hour or more. It's a very relaxing thing for me. I purchased a Fleshlight a few yrs ago and its awesome. I have an active sex life also and jacking does not interfere in any way. I have masterbated in front of several different ladies and almost all of them find it a major turn on. I'm curious how many of you have ever been caught in the act by the opposite sex and what reaction?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2009):

I love, love, love to watch a "grown" man masterbate, such a turn on

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2009):

i caght my husband masterbating a few times , it was a turn off for me

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2009):

I love to watch guys masterbate. It is so sexy. It makes me so wet especially when they moan.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2009):

i have masterbated all my life and i am now well over 60yrs old..i masterbate every day at least once..there is nothing wrong with masterbation and at present it has done me no harm as far as i know..no one should feel embarassed by masterbation it is a perfectly normal thing to do..i even have both male and female friends whom i know masterbate regularly and i also have one male and one female friend whom i masterbate at least once a month..

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A female reader, schristinar85 United States +, writes (23 March 2009):

schristinar85 agony auntI LOVE IT! It is like the biggest turn on ever!

xoxo, Sarah

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A female reader, miss.ohlatta69 United States +, writes (19 March 2009):

miss.ohlatta69 agony auntI love to see a man jack off. It turns me on instantly I watch flicks just to see the man jack off and then cum.my boyfriend never does it infront of me,only when we watch a flick together he just touches his self and I after that u know wat happens next. I masturbate to a man masterbating I think it's so sexy. Wow! Im gettin turned on just talkin about it bye!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2009):

The number one thing I fantasize about when masturbating is a guy masturbating in front of me. This fantasy never gets old and I've been masturbating daily (sometimes 3-4 times) since I was about 13. THAT SAID, as I've matured I seek a more full and deep connection. Masturbating is like eating junk food while making intense, passionate love is like having all your nutritional needs met and then some. So it would bother me now if my guy was jerking off too much alone because he can't keep me satisfied the way it is. Every time he goes it alone, that leaves me in frustration. I don't intend on cheating on him, but it is difficult to be left frustrated. I don't need some long session, but if he can get it up for a few minutes, I'd rather not have him waste it on his hand. I have a good body and turn heads daily. It is ridiculous that I should have to feel frustrated sexually just because my guy has to be with himself. If you want to masturbate when you've got a willing partner, why have a partner at all?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2009):

my bf masterbates more then we have sex, i really wish he would jus have sex with me n be satisfied, he makes me feel useless...like im not doin my part in the sexual relationship!...i think i have sex wit him enough so he wont even think bout masterbateing or lookin at porn so it is def a turn off for me.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2009):

My wife loves to watch me. And I get turned on watching her watch me.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2008):

My girlfriend loves to watch me masterbate, it turns her on so much she often joins in and also masterbates in front of me, we find it a great prelude to full sex.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2008):

Honestly its all personal preference right. Personally, i think its hot, It shouldn't really be an issue how much he does it. My bf does it daily it just makes it so he can last longer in bed.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2008):

We do it cause it feels awsome. Dont worry, we still like our gf. Hope that explains.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2008):

My wife used to say she didn't like me doing it because When I looked at porn she felt I wasn't happy with her. I found an excellent article (oddly enough in Playboy) that explained alot of the reasons that men don't even realize.

The biggest thing was Women think men would rather "be" with the women they see. The truth is, if your man wanted something like that, he would go after a woman like that. Men don't just look at pornography to be "unfaithful", but to maintain faithfulness. Just because I see another girl naked and get turned on, doesnt mean I want to put up with her crap as opposed to my wifes (exactly how I worded it to her). I wouldnt say that my wife is "turned on" by me masterbating, but I Know it no longer turns her off.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2008):

later i saw my bf masturbating by himself and it was so turn off to me, i know that guys doing that and it is natural but when i saw him doing that and watching porno videos on his cellphone i think that he is not contented to me and he don't like to have sex with me...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2008):

I find it sexy and hot, don't get me started.. but since I've been here at Dear Cupid, I find that many, many women are possessive and believe that your penis belongs to them and if you master bate they start crying and for some reason believe they are inadequate.. Don't understand it myself, a guy with a dick in hand, either with me or alone seems like paradise. But there are many sensitive insecure women out there that equate this with adultery... So be carefully, ask permission first to put your own hand on your own penis, you can cause sensitive women to cry and then they want to leave you..

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2008):

I am turned on by it but my bf does not always do it in front of me. I have assisted him with it from time to time before sex. He usually does it in private mostly. I sometimes would get offended but either that or him finding another girlfried to have sex with.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2008):

well in my own opinion i do not find guys masterbating a turn off i actually think its a turn on and i would love to assist

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2008):

I do not like i because my boyfriend tells me that i want sex too much. and he goes and watches porn and masterbates

everyday. sometimes even two or three times. I have asked him if i was doing something wrong and he said no. That when he masterbates it is time to him self.

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A female reader, angiebob1219 United States +, writes (29 November 2008):

My boyfriend was afraid to tell me if he did cuz he thought I'd think it was creepy.

Honestly? I find it to be a big turn on! Sometimes, I'd like to assist.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2008):

I honestly think its ok for a man to masterbate once in a while if they are in a relationship and living with the person. If they are in a relationship and living apart then its expected to be done more. I wouldnt feel comfortable if my boyfriend did it every single day. I would think he was not satisfied with our sex life.

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A female reader, sexygyal South Africa +, writes (8 October 2008):

Nothing could turn me on more than to see my boyfriend turned on by me. I find watching him masturbate sexy, and when we're both turned on it could only lead to good things. Watching him do his business, makes me want to help. It's definitely a good thing.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2008):

Men do this for a number of reasons. Rarely is it because he is not satisfied with his partner. One reason is it is quick easy and not emotional. Sometimes it is nice to not have to focus on how mush he loves his partner or her pleasure. As far as it is a turn on for women to see her man do this, as with most things it just depends on the woman. This is why talking with your partner is the best sex advice anyone can give.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2008):

Nope! I think it's hot :]

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2008):

I find male masterbating quite erotic, a real turn on for me.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008):

i think that its a turn on as long as hes doing it for u and infront of u or at least u and ur partner watching porno and hes masterbating or both of u together.but i have one thing to say my husband used to do it alot while i was away and therefor he didnt want to have sex with me that much; that i found it so painfull and sad

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2008):

how about if your boyfriend is masterbating to porn? i just found out my bf masterbate to porn alot in now am really confused am trying to understand why he does it i dont know if i should be ok about it

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2008):

It's natural, and I don't find it a turn-off, per se. However, it is proven that the more a guy masterbates, the more likely he is to "run out of steam" during sex. The avid masterbater is 10 times more likely to fizzle out early while his partner is still raring to go. Frustrating!

(people please! Masterbate is a character in Captain Pugwash. Masturbate is what you guys can't spell. please use a dictionary - Mod)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2008):

i so totally find masterbating a turn on and especially if my man is thinking about me. i encourage it as much as possible. they say the more u masterbate the more u will want it and besides it helps u find out what u like so if u need tell someone special how to hit ur spot they can do it just purrrrfect.

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A female reader, sweetashoney United States +, writes (16 November 2007):

for me i think its so hot.men are so sexy masterbating. i always want to masterbate along with my boyfriend.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007):

I am an older man 67 and youthfull. I still masterbate maybe 5 to 8 times a week. I have always been very sensual sexual. But I have always wondered if women find male sexuality attractive. Now I see that it seems most do. Thank you ladies for your honesty. I often have an exibition fantasy of masterbating for several women and they all long to touch me all over and they get juicy and make themselves come.

I hope I have not been too loud here because I never want my sexuality to offend.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007):

It depends on if your girlfriend/wife is attracted to you. I was with my ex for 5 years & I eventually started finding myself discusted by him. He would want sex & I would tell him to just jack off b/c I hated the thought of having sex with him. He would jack off & I found it so discusting. Especially the time it shot in his eye. God is he gross. But my husband now, I love him & I wouldn't mind if I told him to do it & he did. However, I have told him to do it and he is too shy to. So we just have sex..but if I saw him doing it & he didn't know I was there, i think I'd just get on it & finish the job for him.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2007):

As I got a little more mature, more adventurous, I was less self-conscience and when, with my girl friends, I would get turned on. Eventually, out it came, and I started spanking my monkey. My female friends seemed to really enjoy it. Some would assist me and a few went down on me when time came to squirt. lots of erotic fun. The next time it came up-- it went in them. For some of the girls, I made a photographic show where my lovers would see me reading something pornographic, you could see, thru the underware, the growing buldge. Then out it came and would pleasure myself, wack-offing off a squirting my load. I put the presentation on Disks and gave them to the ones I was closest too. Guess they still have them....and I hope they still enjoy them.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2007):

Personally, nothing is a bigger turn on especially if I am the inspiration. Talk about undeniable measurable sincerity of attraction.

Unfortunately, it's too bad you have to end that activity to continue to the tasting and more that are almost inevitable with a man masterbating as inspiration. If you don't believe me check out Playgirls website and note that all of the clips to entice you involve a man reaching down his pants.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2007):

From a male perspective, my wife does not find it a turn on. Nor does she find it a turn off. It's hard to know

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2007):

It's a total turn on especially when I get to see the guy come and too much would be when it disrupts your performance as to where you cant keep it hard...that is the turn off.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2007):

I find that a man masturbating is a major turn on. It gets me very horny to watch a man masturbate especially when I get to see him spurt.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2007):

hell no!!

its a total turn on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well it is for me

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2007):

once i told my bf to must in front of me. when he started i turned very hot what a experence was that after when he about to shot he kissed me so hard i can never forget that kiss.

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A female reader, sara518 United States +, writes (20 August 2007):

sara518 agony aunti asked my boyfriend to masturbate in front of me, he was kind of nervous but it turned me on alot alot.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2007):

No. I would love to watch my bf masturbate. But I am scared to ask. And I am shy to watch. I asked him once to touch himself and he did and I started laughing and he got really embarassed and stopped. But the reason I was laughing was because I was so turned on that I got shy and nervous and I always laugh whenever I am nervous. But even the little glimpse I got was priceless and very memorable.

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A female reader, guyguy United Kingdom +, writes (19 August 2007):

Again if find it very horny if a guy masterbates in front of me - such a big turn on. But on the other hand if my guy masterbates on his own a lot a would find this hurtful

i know some woman cant be pleased

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A female reader, peacedreamer United States +, writes (19 August 2007):

I find it very sexy, but that's just me. I think that if my guy were to be that open with me to do something in front of me that is so private, just so hot. But, each woman thinks differently. You would want to talk to your partner and find out if she would like that. You may want to include her in your adventure...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2007):

Huge turn on. I find if I am not quite in the mood and hubby thinks aw well I'll start without you its not long before I'm joining in. I don't think there is a right or wrong number of times to do it though.

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A female reader, i might be a girl but i can help United Kingdom +, writes (18 August 2007):

i might be a girl but i can help agony auntwell we do it for as well and girls know that turns you on, i havent watched a guy musturbate yet. how many times a day you do it is up to you. what ever turns you on.

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A female reader, pain_in_heart United Kingdom +, writes (18 August 2007):

wen im with my fiancee and he does it next to me it turns me on so much because he touches me at the same time i nw he feels good for me so i lyk 2 know that.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2007):

I find it a turn off. But if I don't know about it, then it doesn't matter. More than 2 times a day is too much.

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A female reader, RebeccaT  United Kingdom +, writes (18 August 2007):

Turn on definately but i think more than bout 3 times a day would freak certain ppl out.

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A female reader, flower girl United Kingdom +, writes (18 August 2007):

flower girl agony auntI happen to find it a major turn on and i could not care less how many times aday he does it.

Take care.xx.

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A female reader, hugs2muchgal United States +, writes (18 August 2007):

hugs2muchgal agony auntFor myself personally it is not a turn off. It's a guy's (and a girl's) right to masterbate. It's natural.

When I'm not with my boyfriend and he wants to release that "pent up energy", I rather he masterbate than find another woman.

There can't be a set number of times to do this every day. It's a personal decision for you. If you're really craving it one day, go ahead and do it more than once. If you don't feel like it, don't do it for a few days. This is all up to you (though if you have a girlfriend hopefully she'd be there to help and you wouldn't have to do it as often.)

Hope this helped.

-Hugs

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