A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I tend to have a problem with coming too quickly and so I expend a lot of effort trying to make sure I don't.Obviously this is an issue with vaginal sex, but what about with oral sex? I try not to orgasm too quickly when receiving oral, but does it matter? Are women flattered if I orgasm quickly from oral or are they offended? I am never sure if I should try to hold back or cum as quickly as I can.
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ejaculation, oral sex, orgasm, vagina Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Micha90 +, writes (16 May 2017):
Honestly, from the perspective of a woman who LOVES giving bjs, i would be kind of secretly sad if it didn't last at least 15 minutes. Now I realize most women are not like me in this situation, and you may not need to worry about it. But the very best thing you could do in this or any other sexual situation where you have worries about either pleasing or disappointing your partner, is talk to her! First, find out if she is the kind of chick who genuinely does it because she likes it, and it adds to her pleasure as well as yours, or if she is just willing to do it because she knows it will please you. If she is of the latter camp, you are probably okay. But if she loves it like i do, I would recommend you let her know you are getting close before it's too late to stop it, so she can stop for a moment and let you cool off and start again. This can not only cause the blow job to last longer, but the act of letting your orgasm build up over and over before finally letting it blow can increase your pleasure considerably. It's called edging. I know ladies like me are rare, I can honestly say there have been occasions where I stayed down there for minimum two hours, and times where just the excitement from giving that degree of pleasure and being that intimate caused me to cum no hands/toys needed. If she is experienced and skilled at oral all it may require is for you to discuss this with her and she can change her technique up to suit your level of arousal and keep it feeling great but not so great that you blow your load, that's what I do.
A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (29 April 2014):
 Three things about BJ etiquette: don't take forever (if you can't get there, tell her before she gets jaw lock); warn her before you climax so she can decide whether or not she wants to swallow; reciprocate!
To the ten-second guy, I would find that annoying, mostly because I assume you didn't have enough time to warn her before you came. Yup, keep those eyes closed for at least a minute or two!
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (29 April 2014):
 Seems most of the ladies here prefer a fairly quick shot of cum. I've had many, many bjs in my 60+ years and usually cum within about five minutes if I know the woman likes the load and swallows. Dozens of women in my life have enjoyed the testosterone, but said that they get jaw soreness if I hold too long. For one thing, I make sure to get them off first, vaginally and orally.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2014): It's more of a compliment if the guy comes quickly
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2014): I am a guy who has wondered about this, too. Some of my male friends tell me they have a hard time orgasming from oral sex but I am the opposite. It doesn't really matter WHAT the woman does but just watching her do it turns me on so much that I can have an orgasm in less than a minute unless I close my eyes and hold back a little. One time I had an orgasm in only maybe 10 seconds! I got the feeling she was more annoyed than flattered. Most women responding say fast is good, but is there such a thing as too fast?
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A
female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (28 April 2014):
 I agree with anonymous...When giving a bj, it's better if the guy comes quickly, because it can be really tiring for the jaw if he takes too long. So don't hold back. I also agree that it's flattering when I get a guy off quickly. It's like Clint Eastwood blowing on a smoking gun after he shot his target bang on. Yeah, he's got skills! We women think the same way when we get a guy off quickly:)
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 April 2014):
 The faster the better with a bj....
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A
female
reader, BlueMusician  +, writes (28 April 2014):
 It gives me huge satisfaction to know that my guy comes quickly, merely from a bj.
It mostly means it felt really good. Trying to hold back usually doesn't work.
Premature ejaculation in the sense of coming within 10 seconds or so is a different story.
I want to please my man just long enough so both he and I are satisfied. But too long is not satisfactory. The hands or mouth become sore and sometimes even lock up.
It's a matter of just the right amount of time that feels satisfactory for both partners. The one who gives the bj needs the feeling that she has done well and the receiver needs the feeling of a nice (just long enough) build-up towards orgasm.
'To come quickly' is rather subjective and re-interpretable.
It depends from person to person, but I don't think many women would be offended if the guy came quickly.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2014): Assuming the BJ is not part of foreplay, I'm personally happier if the guy comes quickly, It's not that it's an unpleasant thing to do, but the jaw can ache after a while. And yes it's flattering to get someone off quickly.
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