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Do those in open relationships, swinging or other unconventional relationships notice the same trends?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 May 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 28 May 2008)
A male United States age , anonymous writes:

i have always be an advocate of open relationships all of my adult life. it was always obvious of the appeal to men of the lifestyle, but i continued to be surprised by the positive response of the women in my life. they are always very enthusiastic once they believe i truly mean what i tell them about being able to have sex with others with out recrimination. of all the women i have had extended relationships, none have ever balked at the idea and all but one remained enthusiastic about the lifestyle even after we have gone our separate ways.

i have been lucky in that i have never had a bad relationship with any woman and most of the separations came as a result of one or the other of us having to relocate. i was a career military man and moved an average of every 18 months over 32 years of service. many of the women have introduced open relationships to the men with whom they later had married.

what interests me is how women have a much more developed passion for sexual variety than men and how once they are comfortable, they are more willing to initiate encounters with new people and enjoy it more than men. i believe women are much less inhibited than men in sex, especially after they reach a certain comfort level with the situation. men start out with a high desire for frequent meetings with new partners, but they seem to loss interest after a while and soon are having sex at the same rate as if they didn't swing or have open relationships.

i noticed that after a couple of years into an open relationship, i had found myself going out once or twice in a three month span and my wife was going out three of four times a month. many men that i have talked to have told me the same thing occurs in their open relationships. this month alone, my wife has met with three different men over seven outings. she claimed it had been a lucky month for her. she is quite satisfied with it. i have not even looked or attempted to go out. i have been more interested in the Cubs winning season so far and the fishing in my area is so much better lately. the run of king mackerel is pretty good this year.

do those who involve themselves in swinging, open marriages, or other unconventional relationships notice the same trends as i do?????do you think it is true that women have not only have a higher capacity for sex but, they are far more enthusiastic about it when they feel they are in a same situation????? why do you think we men participate less as time goes on???? just curious. one has a lot of time to come up with questions like this when one is waiting for a fish to strike.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008):

Hi

I have been in an open relationship with my wife since we met in 2003. It was all very open in that I was a commited hedonist in my brief post-divorcee state of 3 years.

We experimented - gradually pushing boundaries. Some drugs, sex clubs, cam sex etc etc. The relationship is now in its sixth year - the sex as erotic as ever. I now allow her to sleep with an ex-boyfriend occasionally who has always sexually excited her. We share her sexual arousal for him. Where it will lead - who knows?. We just enjoy the moment and expand our minds.

Has it gone down to each going out and having sex with other people?. Certainly not!. That is cheating.

There are many level of hedonism and is it up to the individual to decide what arouses him/her and to be open and honest enough to admit to a partner what he/she wants.

If they both agree and it hurts nobody and isnt illegal - thats your own business and just go for it!.

Most couples we know are sexually frustfated - thats why so many affairs happen. As a couple we are getting closer and closer and are most definately in love.

Kevin aged 46

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008):

Some men don't think about sex all the time. We have hobbies and interests beyond the bedroom.

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