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Do the things my flirty colleague is doing show interest in me?

Tagged as: Crushes, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 December 2015) 6 Answers - (Newest, 25 December 2015)
A male Singapore age 30-35, anonymous writes:

An Asian female colleague seems flirty toward me. Are these signs that she is attracted to me?

1) she was absent from work and the next day when I asked she said she had menstrual cramps so she took a sick leave

2) she leans with her shoulder touching mine whenever I show her something on my phone

3) her fingers linger over mine and caress them whenever she passes me a spoon, fork, pen, whatever small object

4) she likes to serve me stuff when we go for company parties... brings me my drinks, fruits, desserts etc

5) she dresses sexily when we were alone together. It wasn't a date but the two of us represented our company at a conference. She usually wears long sleeve office wear but on that day she wore a low cut tank top and skinny jeans. Our boss called us back to the office for an emergency at 5pm. She said she felt embarrassed showing so much skin at the office so we had to stop by at a nearby CottonOn to buy her a cardigan before returning to office.

6) I notice when other guys talk to her at her desk she instinctively covers her chest with her hand. When I talk to her she doesn't try to cover her cleavage.

7) we were having lunch with a friends from work. All of us were complaining about the heat. She confessed that she sleeps naked since arriving here due to the heat. Note: she said this in the presence of four other guys, not just me.

By the way I am still a virgin, sorry if I asked stupid questions. And also, she has a boyfriend

View related questions: flirt, has a boyfriend, she has a boyfriend, still a virgin

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2015):

Sorry its me again, the OP.

Yesterday she asked me if I would want to move into her apartment. Her housemate is moving out after the new year and they are looking for a replacement. I have to pay rental of course.

I am not sure what I should do. I am feeling a little dizzy actually. I have a big crush on her now. Should I accept it?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2015):

personally i wouldn't tell a male friend that i sleep with no clothes or if i am having my period. it is possible she is teasing you sexually. that doesn't mean she wants to have sex with you. i believe she likes you a lot

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2015):

OK OK I get it already. I am not supposed to fool around with an attached girl. But I didn't say I was after her.

I was dumped by a previous girfriend in college. She was cheating with another guy and sleeping with him. I never got to have sex with her. I know how it feels.

However I do have a crush on her. She is really gorgeous. I wonder if I should go after her after she breaks off from her boyfriend. Well, IF she ever does. And if she DOES like me.

I still wonder if she likes me? Because even my own sisters aren't that physically close to me. She touches me a lot, in one way or another, almost every day. More than I am used to. Maybe it is because I am still a virgin so I get turned on by touch easily.

Any other ideas? How do you know it's affection and not attraction?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2015):

Why on earth does telling you she has menstrual cramps mean she is attracted to you? That's just part of life! It sounds like she is comfortable around you, but not attracted to you.

So she wore jeans and a tank top for being out of the office. Again, this is no big deal as she wasn't going to the office she dressed more casual, but on knowing she had to go in to the office she wanted to cover up.

What you describe sounds like a lady who is just comfortable around you, women don't always prefer the company of women and you say she isn't this close to the females - well maybe you have a personality that she gets along with more than those ladies.

She has a bf, so even if she complains about him - which sometimes people do in relationships. You need to respect thay boundary. If she ends up getting closer to you, then you refuse to be some second man and in an affair - people deserve better than that and you would deserve better. If she did one day admit she is attracted to you, then you ask her straight what's going on with her bf and tell her you deserve better than being her 'man on the side'.

At the moment, it just sounds like she needs friends and has become.comfortable around you.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2015):

That's what I thought. I thought she was just very close to me like her own brother but then:

1) my close guy friend said that she asked him whether I have a girlfriend. He was organising a trip to Thailand and said I was joining them. She asked him whether my girlfriend would be joining us. She pulled out of the trip at the last minute when I cancelled because I had an important work assignment

2) she sometimes talks about her boyfriend and complains about him. She says she wishes he'd change some attitudes like being less passive and more ambitious. Her boyfriend is in her home country. He seldom visits.

I thought we are close because we're both expatriates in a foreign country, but then there are many expats in our circle. It's also strange that she is closer to me than her female pals.

I wonder why she is flirting with me. She does even more seductive things I didn't mention here. Though I may be misinterpreting her body language and it's nothing more than affection.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (19 December 2015):

Honeypie agony auntI'd say all the way down to your LAST line.. I would have said she likes you and feel comfortable with you... BUT then your last line...

"And also, she has a boyfriend"

-THAT's the linchpin here.

She has a BF, so she is off limits, or SHOULD be.

Maybe she is more comfortable with you as a friend that she isn't bothered with covering up etc.

She has a BF, so it's ALL really irrelevant.

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