A
male
age
30-35,
*am0091
writes:My dad left my mum (who his disabled with MS) for the 'other woman' - do these relationships that start as an affair (lies, deception) typically last? How can his new parter trust him? She must be insecure that if he can do it with her, he will DO IT to her.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (13 June 2016):
 I know of a few affairs that started with married partners leaving their respective spouses and being together forever until one of them died.
Human nature is such that sometimes it works sometimes it does not.
A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (13 June 2016):
 Depends. Either way it being able to trust each other will no doubt sit niggling in the back of the mind.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (12 June 2016):
 I'm with honeypie. My mother ran away with "the other man" when I was 12 Y.O. They ran off... got married... and lived "happily ever after".... married for 21 years (until he died).... I think they DID have a good life and marriage.
My Dad married a woman within a year after my Mother's leaving... and THEY had a pretty good marriage and life for about 20 years. She (stepmother) died at a pretty young age (at about 73)... and my Dad never re-married.....
Soooo.... what you're asking is akin to asking "How high is "up""?????
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (12 June 2016):
 He might not cheat on her, but I don't think affairs deserve to last because they hurt others to get it. How long ago did your mum get MS? Were they together at the time? It's possible your dad just couldn't take the challenges it brings, any more. That doesn't excuse what he did, just explains why he may have wanted to leave.I do feel for your mum, but this was probably best - albeit your dad did it in the worst way.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (12 June 2016):
 I understand that you feel your dad betrayed your family when you needed him the most, and that there's never an excuse for affairs. In your dad's mind, the marriage was over but he did not do the legal thing before looking for another ship to jump on. Most people who took the vow of "through sickness or health" did not expect MS in a spouse in the future. You cannot compare your mom to the mistress because having MS is not typical, although the rates are rising and it's more prominent in cities that are more north in latitude. If your dad left because of boredom and lack or passion, then the other woman has to worry when the honeymoon period has ended. Your dad decided he is not going to sacrifice the quality of his sex life and I assume the other woman is in good health and can provide sex as long as they are both satisfied.
I don't know if their relationship will fail but I put myself in their shoes. As for your dad, I believe he still loves your mom and the divorce was not due to any fault of her own. For the other woman, I imagine it would be hard to know that a man still loves his ex wife. To have success with the other woman, your dad has to limit contact with your mom. That means checking up on her health, or helping with household chores. If he has a good conscience this will eat away at him. That is why I think the relationship would fail for this reason.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (12 June 2016):
 Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. There are no guarantees either way, same for a marriage with two faithful people.
Can his new partner trust him? No. Can he trust his new partner, no. But that is for them to deal with.
I'm sorry your mom has to even deal with this.
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