A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hiya I’m in a relationship for 5 years we have a 2 year old son and we live together I just need some advice on this we used to go to school together and met up years later through social media we moved in together and had our son but the past year or so we have had nothing but problems he won’t make any time for me we never go out anywhere together I’m always wrong everything I say or do is always wrong our problems started when I saw on social media he had added a ex sexual partner Back on when he told me he doesn’t use Facebook I questioned why he added her and he said he was going to talk to her again obviously I felt threatened by this given that they had slept together he travelled 3 hours away just for sex with her then he added 4 others who he didn’t know he has no interest in helping me make the house look nice that’s all down to me and if I say anything even if it’s something he knows nothing about and I do he is right and I am wrong I just don’t know how much more I can take do people like this ever change or am I best off out of it cos I really don’t know how much more I can take any advice greatly appreciated
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female
reader, Loxy511 +, writes (1 February 2019):
Yeah, he is playing the coward card. He has lost all care and is hoping to save himself the effort of breaking up with you as it is likely there will be more drama and 'please don't leave me'. If he plays the arse now, you will leave him and there is less likely to be any aftermath pleading etc because by that time you will be sick of him anyway. Sadly, it is actually quite a common way for people to break up. Instead of him having the balls to just do what is right and not string you along, he is letting you play it out until you have nothing else to give. Do not waste your energy!I know yo feel as though you will be throwing 5 years away, but actually, by staying with him in an unhappy way means you are throwing the rest of your life away.You have a son, so yes this will need to be considered, and another reason for there to be less drama.You can do two things...If you haven't already, you can be open, honest and frank (write it down before you talk so you don't go off track) and see if anything changes. It is likely that it won't change, but stranger things have happened.Or you can swallow a tough pill, take control of the situation and leave him. If he does come begging to have you back, you have a say on the parameters of the new relationship you would get back into. Or he will just go 'okay bye then' and you have done yourself a huge favour.It is never easy and I have gone through a similar thing (without the child - but the rest pretty much identical, plus he was physically and mentally abusive and also a cheater so I sort of understand your feelings). I don't think I am even over it myself yet (November 2018) but I am getting there and I want to tell you that you are not alone. Be pragmatic, be diplomatic and do not rise with any reactions - just tell him calmly that things have ended. You don't need to talk about it, you have made your decision and now you are taking steps to move on. Then take your son and be with family for a moment. The rest can be worked out later.You have totally got this! Be strong and channel your inner Beyonce x You are going to take steps to win your happiness back x
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (19 January 2019):
 Honestly? I think he is just waiting on you to leave so he can go back to being single.
He is ACTING like a single guy. Chatting up exes, not lifting a finger at home, not spending time with you, etc.
YOU can't WAIT for him to change, OP. WHY put your life on hold waiting for this?
Instead ASK him if he is happy with the relationship. And tell him YOU are not.
Decide if you WANT to try and see what you two can work out together OR if this is just all enough.
The whole "you are always wrong" is HIM punishing you for pointing out that you aren't OK with him chatting up old sex-partners. HE simply don't care.
What do you think this teaches your son?
I'd say if you have had enough, then END it. Focus on YOU and your son.
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