A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am single 29 years old now. 3 years ago, i joined filipinocupid site because of curiosity. I uploaded my photo and i got many interest from different men so it excites me and started exchanging messages to those guys i got interest with. After 3 mos.of chatting, this american guy decided to meet me and i was surprised cuz he wanted us to have sex on our first meeting. So i said no then he told me we cannot have a relationship and i said i don't care. Then i chatted again on FC,then i met the 2nd guy but he never asked me to have sex but he said he likes me cuz i am sexy and pretty but we never had relationship cuz he didn't visit my country that much. Then 3rd guy,i met him and we both like each other and he said that sex is important to him so i did not refused when he sex me during his 5days vacation. Since its not clear if we are togther, i chatted again on FC and i met the 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th and 8th guy and i also have sex with them when i met them and just like the 3rd guy, they told me they love me but then we didn't see each other often so i chatted again. Before i met a new guy, i dated 4 filipino men and just the same i have sex with them for a month and then i met this guy from L.A. and just the same first meeting we had sex and he is very attracted with me and we became together he even met my family. He visits me every after 2 months but on the 2nd mos of being together, he told me one thing that really embarrased me..he said i am big just like i already gave birth but he did not left me. I just noticed that he became very wild when we make love. This guy never used condom and he always cum inside me but i took pill. The previous guys they used condom so i am safe.I have been with 11 men and if i lose my bf i don't want to have sex anymore with different men(we are now on our 2nd year but i noticed he changed cuz b4 he is calling me almost everyday...but now he never called me in 3 months and not even responding on my emails and texts even calls). My question is, in USA,does dating really involve having sex? Americans are liberal than us. I am not a whore, i have a good job, they said i am pretty and sexy. I heardmy officemates that they are also having 1 night stands and sex on first dates with american guy they met. Is it normal? I never told them i have been with diferent men. I am very confused cuz another would want to meet me in Dec...and he wants to marry me.
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condom, one night stand, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (23 September 2014):
 Who cares about what American guys do oe want ?! Yes, American culture is more sexualized and promiscuous than others , yes sex often cones into play at an early stage. And in all the world men , if needs be, will say " I love you, you are beautiful, I'll marry you " to gain speedier , easier access to a woman's body.
But you ara a Philipino woman, living in the Philippines. Why do you have to play by the American rules ? If any, THEY would have to play by your rules.
You choose. It's your body and it's your future. If you are not into one night stands, or casual sex, or sex on a first date , or anything that goes against your instincts, values, preferences, and / or makes you feel not good about yourself- just send them packing ! just tell them to buzz off- from whatever country they are or whatever their sexual expectations are.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2014): These men are telling you what you want to hear so they can sleep with you.I live in the US and yes some men do that here but it is the men that do not respect the woman. They are not respecting you and just want sex. The nen you are dating are taking advantage of you because you appear naive. If you want a man who id genuine and true make sure he gets to know whats in your mind first.Talk and get to know each other first before sex.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (23 September 2014):
 I would not believe anyone who says they love me or want to marry me without knowing me much. Maybe they think filipinos are naive. A lot of transient, travelling business people go to those sites disguised as looking for dates. They think if they go to a dating site they would find decent girls, not skanks or cheating wives. You said yourself you are professional, so they are lucky they find you.
My city is not popular. It has very few tourism spots. It's conservative also and family oriented. It has many filipinos though. When I went to my dating site before it was mainly with people who live there, born there and will probably die there. Maybe you live in a part where it houses many international people and they come and go. It will be hard for these people to settle down. They need sex but they know it's hard to ask for casual sex so they go along with the dating thing. Some will even go as far as meeting parents. When they leave the city it becomes convenient to just disappear. So I will say just stick to local guys.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2014): I don't know about Philippine culture in regards to sex but in America, casual sex is very common. And it is also common for American men to tell you that they love you and that you are beautiful in order to gain sexual benefits from you.
The only way to get an American man to truly love you is to NOT have sex with him. Wait as long as possible. That way you can weed out the one's who just want sex from the one's who want to get to know you.
When you have sex too quickly with an American man, he will put you in the "easy" category. He will think you are a whore. And he will not take you seriously.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (22 September 2014):
 The only RULES in dating are the ones you set. The ones that fit your sense of morality and values.
If you do NOT want to have SEX on the first, the second or the 10th date, then DON'T. If the guy can't accept that, HE isn't for you.
These American guys you met (my guess they are mainly military stationed in the philippines or guys who are on vacation?) If so, then they REALLY don't want to "date you" - all they want is a Fuck-buddy. Someone they can call and have sex with whenever, not a Girlfriend who they care for and want a future with.
You should have figured that out by now, I mean 11 guys? and you are dating NONE of them?
If you DO want one-night-stands BE SURE to always use condoms. The pill won't stop diseases, condoms will - though NOT all diseases.
It seems like " filipinocupid" is not a serious dating site, but a site for guys to find girls to have sex with. And it seems in your experience that is right. So why do you continue to troll for a BF, when all you get is guy who wants sex?
Also, if you have a BF who are you having dates and sex with all these men?
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (22 September 2014):
 The term 'one night stand' and the term 'friends with benifits" were obviously invented by a man. We(they) are interested in bedding their date as soon as possible to see if they will enjoy their company again. You don't have to DO anything you don't want to do. If you go to dinner, you don't owe him anything. JNo matter where he takes you, you don't have to feel compelled to do anything for him. Just have fun. Now if you want to go to bed with him, that's a different story. st don't feel you 'have to' because it's customary or your office mates think you ought to. You are a free person, act like one.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (22 September 2014):
 You ask: "...My question is, in USA,does dating really involve having sex?"
The answer: Calling one-night stands "dating".... happens strictly in horny mens' minds....
As you have learned, there's no future for a woman who wants to believe that putting out for a guy will make him love her....
Remember: Women need a REASON to have sex; Men need only a place....
Good luck in the future...
Good luck....
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