A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I need some relationship advice. I have spoken to the friends, who tell me to write him off to the island of lost men! I am too. But why are even the nice guys like this. (and we are late 20's/early 30's not even teens) I met a guy, 2 weeks back and we spent night kissing and talking. The next day he texts. we agree to meet the folowing day. he calls, we speak and then that evening go for a lovely dinner date and then meet some of my friends for drinks afterwards. We talk about relatioships etc, he is quite shy, only had 3 girlfriends. never had one night stand, came from deeply religious background. Where as I am wild and very different ;) anyway, we ended up back at mine and it was neither of our intention to sleep together, but we did and it was lovely. we spoke the next day and spent the week talking and texting. That Saturday we went out for dinner again, and then to friends birthday. we stayed back at mine, but this time didn't sleep together as we thought let's get to know each other more. All my friends like him and thought lovely guy. and If I am being honest, I thought he was too nice for me really... anyway, he left mine on Sunday and come Tuesday I hadn't heard from him. I texted, he texted straight back and said that I never replied to his message on Sunday evening, thanking me for dinner and asking if I wanted to go out this week. I assured him I did not recieve a message (which I did not) but that I would love to. He replies his busy this week now, but were go next week and he will call me later. Later came, he never called. next day I text and he says he went out and sorry he didn't call, we lsoely arrange to meet following week. I then text him later that day asking how he is.... AND NOTHING! almost a week and no reply and since I started the texting/calling all week I am not chasing again! What I can't understand is how can a nice guy do that. and what hope is there is even the nice guys are twats. haha
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kissing, one night stand, shy, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2012): Sorry OP but even the nice guys will lose interest if you have sex so soon. You made it about sex and then the next time you didn't give him any sex.
What did you expect? Very mixed signals, you give him sex and then decide it's better to get to know each other, too late. Too wishy washy OP. You either wanted a quick lay or you wanted to get to know him better, you can't really have both. You really just took away the one thing that kind of keeps us guys sticking around and that's the mystery of having sex with a girl we're attracted to and getting to know. I know you hear so much that it's not all we want etc. but it's a massive motivation for us, give us the prize before we run the race and why would we run it?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2012): You slept with him way too soon... No mystery is left for him when you gave it all away. Next time, invest more time and get to know a guy first. :D
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2012): You slept with him when you barely knew him and he had invested very little effort into the relationship. But once he had put a little more time and effort into the relationship you withdrew the reward. This sends a pretty clear message.
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A
male
reader, doublejack +, writes (18 June 2012):
I sound pretty similar to this guy, except I'm probably a few years older at 36. My advice is also to write him off as a lost cause. If he were still interested, he would have contacted you by now. Something, or a combination of things, has probably put him off. It is in your best interest to just move on, especially since it was so early.If it were me in this situation, the issue would be that there was sex involved on what was basically the first date, and no sex on the second date even though it involved an overnight stay. How did that conversation about getting to know each other better come about? Was it more his idea or yours? If it was more your idea, then he was probably very disappointed but too shy to say anything about it. If it was his idea, then maybe things had already gone south in his mind.Whatever the case, it is pretty clear that his view changed on Saturday or Sunday, since he backed away from that point.Best of luck!
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