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Do I try to rein in my feelings for the guy at work? Or tell him how I feel?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 July 2016) 4 Answers - (Newest, 13 July 2016)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I've got close to a guy at work while I've got a bf of around a year. I can't get the guy from work out my head especially since we kissed one night after a few drinks. We agreed we can't talk outside work anymore for our partners becoming suspect but we're still really attracted to each other. It is more complex as his current gf works in the same team as him. We're trying to keep it professional but I can't get him out of my head and can't help but think would be really happy together.

Do I open my thoughts to him or carry on and try to rein my feelings in?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2016):

I'd suggest you don't even go there. I have been in a similar situation and it's one of those you look back and regret. If you have a good thing already and someone you can rely on, don't ruin it. If you are having second thoughts about your current bf maybe take a break and see how it goes.

Just don't rush into anything and try to turn the tables.

Work related involvements are trouble, take it from me they never end well.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (12 July 2016):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntYour poor partner. You need to break up with him, I think. It's not fair to even consider what you are, when you're in a relationship. As for the colleague, he doesn't *want* to have a relationship with you; he's telling you that by trying to keep his girlfriend unaware of what happened. Let go of your boyfriend, reign in your attraction and keep it professional.

Also, don't get tipsy/drunk if you can't control yourself; that kiss shouldn't have happened.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (12 July 2016):

CindyCares agony aunt Rein in, and in fact try and make a better effort at it.

The guy has a Gf. The Gf works with him. He told you he does not want to see you / talk to you out of work. He does not want to jeopardize his relationship for you.

You are attracted to each other , you say - but the fact that you would not care about getting busted and losing your partner over a physical attraction does not mean that this guy must feel the same. His prudence suggest he does not.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (12 July 2016):

Honeypie agony auntYou have a partner yourself? And he does too?

Yes, you should "reign" it in. It's not very professional is it? And besides HE has already shot it down, attraction or no. He TOLD you that you two can't talk outside of work no more. My guess is? He doesn't want his GF to find out and he doesn't want YOU to create drama in the work place.

Suck it up buttercup. Focus all that attention and affection on your partner or... break up with your partner and take some time being single.. I think you need to realize that your libido shouldn't be the boss of you.

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