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Do I try to Facebook this aquaintance from my past? Or is it really awkward or inappropriate?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Friends, Social Media<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 March 2018) 5 Answers - (Newest, 11 March 2018)
A female Australia age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Yesterday when cleaning.. iv found some old pics of me and my old dance teacher,he was a gay guy we got on well.

I was wondering..should I friend request him on Facebook?

I’m female and I was not attracted to him!!

Im also gay and he knew this, though it wasn’t discussed much of course. I was there to learn to dance!

It was a straight studio and I kept my sexuality hidden, I told him only as he asked once if I was married as conversation .

We got on very well, yes i know I paid him for dance lessons! and he was paid to be “nice” to his students..but.. it felt low there was definitely apotmworla f/ship there. I was so quiet and awkward..and he helped me become less quiet, in dancing, i was average but I tried.

I leant from him 7 yes then he left and I lost contact.

After him I learnt for 6 more years then stopped.

It’s been years now since i danced but will always remember him.

We had some things in common as potential friends.

But.

Due to the dance studio rules of “teachers and students cannot see each other socially or be friends” we couldn’t be.

Much as it would have been good.

I did see him 6 years ago at mall with his partner and he said hi, hugged me and briefly chatted.

he didn’t have to do that, he could’ve walked right past me.

It’s beeen 15 yrs since he was my teacher, we were both in our 20s..

Would it be weird to Facebook friend request him? Don’t want to be weird, creepy or awkward.

So not my intention.

I know he works on retail now on my city, as I have seen him on a store serving customers last year as i walked past when o was on a trip to see a friend in the centre of my city.

Advice?

I’d love to have a coffee and catch up but am doubtful he’d even respond to a fb request. Yes he’s on it. I checked.

Thanks

View related questions: facebook, my teacher

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A male reader, liddel United States +, writes (11 March 2018):

Sure, of course it's okay. I'm an introvert that leans toward being anti social. Recently, I've been messaging people that I went to high school with saying, hey, remember me?, and then becoming facebook friends with them.

You can do this too.

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A female reader, louiselistens United Kingdom +, writes (10 March 2018):

louiselistens agony auntHi anonymous writer,

I think maybe you've been overthinking this a little too much. You both got along really well when he was teaching you dance and he has been friendly every time he has seen you, even years after.

Sounds like you left quite the impression on your dance teacher too! Drop him a message, the worst he can do is ignore it. Yet somehow I don't think he will.

Best wishes

louiselistens

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (10 March 2018):

I think it would be great! There's nothing romantic involved and Facebook is for catching-up or locating lost friends, family, and acquaintances. You have the option to accept or reject the friend-request. Give it a try!

Good luck!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (10 March 2018):

Honeypie agony auntI don't see the problem either?

People do it all the time. I would just keep my expectations low. That way it might be a pleasant surprise.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (10 March 2018):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntWhat have you got to lose? He can only ignore your request. I suspect, from what you have said though, that he will not ignore it.

If you know where he works, why not "bump into him" accidentally and ask if he fancies a coffee and a catch up?

Perhaps you could thank him for how he was with you all those years ago and say you have always remembered him for his kindness and empathy and that you would love to stay in touch if he doesn't mind?

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