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Do I tell my family that I suspect my uncle is an alcoholic?

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Question - (16 August 2011) 1 Answers - (Newest, 17 August 2011)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

is my uncle a alcohloic? he drinks at work 4 tinnys i dunno how often he does this i have just started the job he got me it, we work in a glazier company, i noticed it today he goes to the shop down the road buys a 4 pack hides it in his work clothing goes to the toilet and drinks it with the empty can he stuffs it in the wall cavity in the toilet. i told a wor buddy and he said he has always done this. uncle then will go home and drink a 4 pack and a bottle of win with his gf oblivious to him drinking atr work, none of my family know, what do i do? do i tell some one? or leave him to it?

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A female reader, Abella United States +, writes (17 August 2011):

Abella agony auntit depends doesn't it?

Does it affect his work capacity? Can he still do his job? Does he work in an area where he demonstrates serious impairment? Or is he operating with a good level of skill. Some men have hollow legs.

He may well need a high level of alcohol in his system, more than some people could cope with, and yet still function.

And it is not your role to embarass him,

even if you have made a judgement that he drinks more than you think is healthy for him.

Good judgement is called for here.

Only his Doctor can assess if there are medical issues to address.

His employer can decide if he is doing an adequate job and not putting himself at risk, nor putting anyone else at risk.

Does he drive a vehicle? Only the Police can arrest him if he is driving erraticall.

And he secured you a job. How good is he going to feel about you if you affect his family relationships? Lose him his driver's license or lose his job?

He is an adult and responsible for himself. If he cannot handle the amount of alcohol he consumes then it will catch up with him, and he will need to seek support to deal with it.

But if he is somehow coping then will he appreciate what he may find as highly offensive effforts to to stop him?

I personally do not drink alcohol. But in the circumstances you describe I would never think to interfere with how much someome was drinking, even if I thought it bordered on high, IF i could see the person was functioning.

I might wonder how they manage to continue working, living etc.

And if I had a really good relationship with them (I am thinking a kind elderly guy I once worked with) then if in a situation where no one else could overhear I might rib them, and ask, 'did you have a really good lunch today?' with a twinkle in my eye.

But I would not snitch on them. I would not go to others encouraging others to tell family or an employer about the level of drinking. Because doing that would be a betrayal of trust.

But if I became exceedingly worried then I might ask to talk with him alone, with no one else present, and very confidentially talk about my concerns. And offer to explore resources and agencies WITH him, to see if he is willing to get help.

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