A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been broken up for a month now. We were still emailing each other and I told him that he could call me anytime that he wanted to. He didn't think it would be wise and so I finally ended it all together, saying I don't think we should contact each other anymore, that was two weeks ago. I just got back from vacation(a trip that he paid for as an early birthday present), I emailed him yesterday just to thank him again and now he was asking if he could call me sometime this week and if it would be too weird on my part, he would understand if I didn't want to talk to him. He didn't want to talk on the phone sooner because he thought it was too soon but what does a matter of two weeks going to change anything. Please can anyone shed some light on this as to why he suddenly wants to chat on the phone with me? I would like to have a guy's opinion on this as well.
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male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (24 May 2007):
 I agree with SleepyHollow.
Taking the trip after the break up reflects really poorly on you.
and...
I think he wants to talk becuase he is hoping that you going on the trip will make you want him back, so he is testing the waters.
He now will be able to claim that he feels you used him, unless you pay him back for the trip. That is how he will tell the story if you don't get back with him...and it will be very beleiveable.
-FBK
A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (24 May 2007):
 Why did you break up in the first place? How long had you been together? Although you had both broken up, you were still emailing one another so the emotional connection was still there (hence the reason so said he could call you anytime.) Now that you made the decision to finally end all communication with him then went on your vacation it's gave him time to get his head together and have a good long think.
It may be he's really missed you and wants to make a go of it again so keep that in mind. The question is... do YOU want to try again? I think you still miss him too and used the excuse of the "thank you email" to get in touch with him again. I would want to know what he wants to talk to me about so I would agree to let him call me but that's just my personal opinion. At the end of the day it's entirely up to you.
Regarding what Sleepyhollow said about his gift to you, it WAS given to you as a gift so I wouldn't worry too much about having to give it back to him. Again, just my personal opinion.
Do let me know how it goes and good luck in whatever you decide.
Eve
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A
male
reader, sleepyhollow  +, writes (23 May 2007):
First off, you should've returned his birthday present to him. You should never have used it if you two were no longer together and he had paid for it. If it had been given to you after the break up, you should never have accepted it.
You are now in a position where you are somewhat obligated to him for the gift, regardless that it was freely given. All gifts have strings of some kind, and taking advantage of a costly gift like this is going to muddy the waters significantly from his point of view.
If you want to break things off clean with him, send him a card with the money paying him back for the trip, and a note saying that you think it is best if the two of you take a break, and then you absolutely must ignore his calls, emails, and texts until he moves on.
Anything less than squaring your debt with him will leave him feeling used.
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