A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:hey guys i need your help, i broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years, 3 months ago. recently we started talking, he will phone and update me on what is going on in his life and my birthday is on monday and he is planning to come and see me. this is really hurting because i really love him so much i am afraid to ask him if he still loves me, because he said during the break-up he does not think we can get back together anymore. i am afraid that if i bought up the subject i will move him away. when we talk it feels so right, but yet wrong because i want him to tell me how much he misses me or he loves me. Or maybe i am bound to feel like that since it is still early after the break-up.Should i just cut contacts with him and move one?
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female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (27 February 2009):
 I agree.
You need to cut all contact until you are completely over this guy. I know how difficult that must seem, and I know how difficult it is because I've been through a similar situation. But you seeing your ex on your birthday and asking him whether he loves you or not is a bad idea. What if he says no? You're back to square one.
Call him up and say calmly "I'm still upset about our break up and I think the only way I'm going to be completely over you is to stop contact for a while... I need some time to get my head together because I feel like my hopes keep getting up each time we talk and in my heart I know that it's not going to happen. So please respect my wishes and give me some time. I will come to talk to you and be friends with you when I'm completely ready."
And only when you're completely ready and completely sure you're over him, get back in contact. You may not want to be in contact with him afterwards, but either way, give yourself some time. I'm not talking a week, I'm talking a few months. You were with him for a very very long time and it will take time to get used to the fact you're not together anymore.
Take care x x x x
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2009): Actually you answered your own question with your last line/question. It is not a good idea for you to see your ex on your birthday, or any other day. He should not be calling you anymore either. You broke it off 3 months ago for whatever the reason. I get the feeling he only wants to see you to take advantage of your feelings, use you then leave.Yes, cut contacts and move on.
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