A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome otherwise known as ME. I would like to meet a partner and settle down. I have recently started on-line dating again, but wonder at what point I should tell dates that I have CFS? The CFS is such that I can just about hold down a full time job, but I usually feel particularly awful from the afternoon onwards so when I get home from work I feel too ill to pursue a social life. I am thinking about dropping some hours at work if my employers will agree. I have no social life anymore to speak of, and have felt too ill to travel anywhere on holiday this year. Although I feel I have many qualities to bring to a relationship, I wonder if it is fair of me to expect any prospective dates to want to take that sort of thing on. What do you think? If I do go on any dates, when would you tell the date? Before you meet, after a few dates, etc? There is a guy on-line who I think is interested in me and I am interested in him but I don't know what to do.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Orvus  +, writes (14 December 2010):
 I know a bit about CFS/ME because a long time acquaintance of mine suffers from it and has written medical literature about it.I don't feel qualified to give you a suggestion of what you should do; I guess you'll know when the time is right and you shouldn't force it. You don't have to hide it from him, just let him find out on his own, through conversation. You could introduce it slowly, with slightly stronger words each time: from an "health problem" to a "chronic illness" to a "disability".My CFS/ME expert friend would probably suggest that you don't refer to the illness as CFS, since the term has been given very negative connotations by the general public. It tends to be misunderstood as laziness, hypocondria, or, at best, depression.Good luck!
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