A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello, i am feeling guilty because i talk to a girl online through facebook, skype and sometimes over xbox live and i think she likes me where as i just flirt because i like it. i do not mean to sound bad here but i do not find her at all physically attractive but i really like talking to her, for example we stayed up all night talking a few times on skype and think of as more than a friend. we do not live near each other. she lives up north and i live in the south of england. I do not want to be one of those guys who keeps leading someone on and put someone in the friend zone. I like her as a friend and i also like flirting with her but i do not see are relationship progressing from there. by the way im a 16 year old guy and she is 17. also i hate this about myself and do not want to be like it but i am shallow. i know the reason i do not find her attractive is because she is much bigger than me as in weight. the reason i am here is to ask does it make me a bad person to be talking to this girl and unintentionally making it look like i have feelings for her. should i stop the flirting and occasional dirty talk? and just talk to her like one of my guy friends. i have also come to realise recently that i am like this with all my female friends. i am asking you what i should do? should i change and or make it clear i do not have feelings for her. finaly i want to know am i just a flirtatious person or am i just a douche bag.
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (1 December 2012):
 I agree, no flirting with girls you have no intentions with - you can still have a verbal banter but leave out the sexual component.
And NO dirty talk with ANYONE except your GF and ONLY if she is OK with that.
You are USING this girl to make yourself fell better, that isn't right.
This is the time to LEARN how to treat girls/women right.
A
female
reader, babalou +, writes (1 December 2012):
 If you don't intend to date her, don't flirt. Put yourself in her place. What if someone you liked flirted with you all the time but didn't want to date you? In flirting with her, you really are playing with her emotions. If you keep it up, she may come clean about liking you and when you reject her, it will crush her. She won't be able to talk to you anymore without being hurt, possibly. You've probably already done quite a bit if work on her by sweet talking, so you also shouldn't come out and say, "Hey, I don't like you in that way, I just like flirting," because it will have the same effect. Just stop saying things you don't need to say, but still be a good friend to her.
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A
female
reader, la negra +, writes (30 November 2012):
Yes, stop flirting. Especially if its dirty talk. Treat those you dont find sexually attractive like one of the bros. Trust me, its kinder and leading a female on, that MAY feel in a much stronger way than you do has grave consequences. Ever seen the movie, Fatal Attraction with Michael Douglas? Lol.
Just be kind and up front because most likely if she's allowing you to speak to her in that respect then she either likes you or the attention and its just not a nice thing to do to some one.
If the shoe was on the other foot and some girl was just flirting with you for the heck of it. I don't think you'll like it. Do what's right.
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