A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend started to like someone else and he told me and I've been so hurt and the question is so we stay together? But there's more...We keep almost breaking up then seconds later we tell each other we miss each other. He loves me and he's stopped with the other girl.To clear my head I said we should take a two week break On this break, I've gotten close to some other boy and he's told me he really likes me and I've started to like him. My boyfriends hurt me a lot and often in the past and probably will in the futureI don't know about the other boy do I give him a chance, he's nicer and listens and he doesn't get mad at anything I say.he's easier to talk to and understands more. He's nicer and can be playful and funny What should I do ? Who do I choose Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (22 July 2015):
 I noticed too that you posted the same question yesterday;you got 3 answers which all sounded pretty sensible to me,.. but perhaps you aren't satisfied because, as some times posters do, you want someone to just decide for you ? So that you don't have to think about it ?...
That never works, you know. Any decision, you'll stick to it, and most of all you'll perceive it as good, adequate and the best possible in the circumstances, only if it comes from you, after patient consideration and reflection.
Anyway,... just to help you along the process... and since you asked :
common sense would dictate that you ditched the first boy anyway.
He likes another girl !, he told you. Maybe he does not like her MORE than you, and that's why he hangs in there ... but still, if his mind and heart are 50% on another girl, he can't give 100% to your relationship, right ? Anyway, it does not seem such a great relayionship; you are always on the verge of breaking up ! So , ...that means you are incompatible, why even insisting after you have seen time and again that basically you do not get along ? It's not all about " love " ... or infatuation, Then you have to be able to actually carry on the relationship, consistently, without on and off ! and without much drama and conflict and arguments .
So, we have ( hopefully ) disposed of boy one. As for boy two, I ca't but reiterate my colleagues' opinion, which is : whar, did the doctor tell you that you HAVE to have a bf at all times ?
Can't you be on your own for a while ? To find out what you really are and what you really want in relationships ?
Boy two sounds nice, but- it's never smart to jump from a ( failed ) relationship to the next with no transition.
This boy-hopping could mean that boy two would be just a rebound, or that you are just afraid to be alone.
I don't think that you are already firmly, securely in love with boy 2 ( otherwise you would not have even posted ) , so why do you feel that you HAVE to take him on board ? Just because he is around ?...As for him being nice and kind, everybody is nice and kind at the beginning !, otherwise they would not get any game. It has to be seen if they will stand the test of time.
If, regardless of this, you feel you want to give him a chance, or a try- I suppose there's no harm in that, as long though as you are clear on this : that he is a chance, an opportunity, a possibility.... not your one and only chance to add pizzazz, fun, excitement and ego boosts to your life.
The best would be if you could be alone for a little, and think what it IS really that you want, that can make you happy and feel good , and not only in terms of sex and romance, just in terms of being you and being happy, whether single or coupled.
Once your ideas are clearer about that, you'd be surprised to see how it's much simpler and easier to meet better " fits " in terms of partners ....
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (22 July 2015):
 How many times are you going to post the same question? ..
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/do-i-leave-himor-stay-or-breakup-and.html
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