A
female
age
16-17,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for over 2 years now. We used to be very close, best friends, and have many good memories together as you can imagine after so long. He is completely opposite to me, but I have been friends with another guy (guy#2) for the past year, who has been there for me more than my boyfriend for the past few months. He is the one i share everything with these days, more so than my bf...I warned my bf that, if he didn't put in the effort with me, and make me feel special to him, then i would look for it somewhere else..... because im only 16 and being a teenager should be about fun when it comes to relationships, i don't want to be in one because i feel obligated to be. Our parents are 'friends' and im quite close with his family, however, my bf is the definition of a 'mommy's boy' and it has been something we have fought over for ages, how he seems to often choose his mom over me, and when i invite him to the cinema for a date, he brings his mom. i understand why, they have family issues and she only has him.....but :S its a bit ridiculous, i thought the disliking for the 'mother-in-laws' thing only happed when your married!!!. My bf isn't romantic or thoughtful or anything with me anymore, its feeling more just like friendship with memories of how good it used to be?. Guy#2 is who i get butterflies about, have a spark with, and so much in common....however, i guess i like both as much? I don't know when enough is enough? how many 'chances' do i give my bf to sweep me off my feet? he forgot valentines day, and our 2 yr anniversary... ignored me through exams etc. Guy#2 recently broke up with his girl friend, and so i guess we both go to each other with those type of problems, and he just seems like the perfect bf, well, very compatible with me. His ex is a 'hi-bye-friend' and didnt seem upset when he dumped her, but im worried the girls in my grade will dislike me because of her if i ever admit i like him? Its summer now though, and my bf is here all summer like me......and guy#2 is going away for 5 weeks in 2 weeks. Yesterday i told my bf my feelings for this other guy have grown (as keeping it a secret was eating me alive!), and as soon as i clarified that i havn't done anything physically with guy#2, my bf didn't seem to care so much?! but he said he would try to change this summer? when i told guy#2 he said he felt the same as me, but has tried to forget about it as iv been with my bf for ages (which is exactly what iv tried to do about guy#2 as well!)......the feelings haven't gone away tho...what do i do? who do i choose? do you think i have 'grass is greener on the other side' syndrome?should i give my bf one last chance, and if it doesn't work out, i will be single for a while to decide if i want to be in another relationship with guy#2 or not? or do i break up with my bf now, and be alone in the summer to think about it? :S:( needing help- thanks x
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anniversary, best friend, broke up, his ex, spark Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys (:I called my bf and let him know that we should break up, he agreed, as we have not been getting along for a while. No running off to guy2 just yet though, im going to be single to think and sort things out :)wish me luckkx
A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta  +, writes (3 July 2008):
 "he said he would try to change this summer"
around a tuesday about 5:37pm?
drop the mommas boy.
and don't get with this other guy.
Yes thats right. Do not. get with him.
theres good reason for this. you're in a bad relationship. he's just come out of a bad relationship. and you both ahve a ton of baggage and would likely ruin the relationship and your long standing freindship.
staying with your meloncoly bf is a bad idea. and seems to generally ben a lame screw around nothing more.
this new guy.. well you may like him. but how do you know its that kinda feeling.
people ahve freinds for a reason. i have very few freinds, but those people i can intrust my life with and love them through and through.
thats why they're called "Friends"
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A
female
reader, Mushgirl + ♥, writes (1 July 2008):
 I don't think this is something that just goes away in time. I think that basically you're falling out of love and the chemistry has gone from your relationship. Fair enough, this isn't always a good reason to break up with someone, but you've given your boyfriend a fair few chances to show you he cares, and things still haven't improved. Of course, if you do break up with him for the other guy, I doubt you could repair your relationship if Guy #2 turned out not so good.
The sensible option would be to stay with your boyfriend at least until Guy #2 comes back in a couple of months. Then maybe your relationship would improve without being distracted, plus you'd be able to see if you still want Guy #2 after 5 weeks apart.
But of course love ain't usually simple or easy and it's hardly ever sensible, so if it feels right and you know that sooner or later it's gonna happen anyway, break things off with your boyfriend tomorrow and go to see Guy #2.
Easier said than done, eh? Good luck! xxx
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A
female
reader, soulcal +, writes (29 June 2008):
 well if i was you i would stay with your bf longer and see if he changes and see if things get better if not. just break it to him that you feel nothing between you and your feelings for him are getting less and less each day. so if it doesnt work out you can try it with the new guy.
i hope this helps :D xx
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