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Do I be brave and make the first move?

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Question - (31 December 2008) 7 Answers - (Newest, 3 January 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Okay, I know this sounds weird but I'm shy and need help with this.

I like this guy at work and I never told anyone. And I was told that he liked me (and I believe them- just through little things at work- he was my secret santa and i saw him going red when he pulled the name out the hat- not a good liar or good at hiding feelings). He also went red when everyone had a go at him for not helping me when my car broke down. The final hint is the looks and then looking away.

Anyway, enough of me rambling. I want to know, should I make the first move, or wait for him to come to me? I've been wrong about this stuff in the past and would hate to be wrong again.

Thanks for anyone who does help.

View related questions: at work, liar, shy

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I didn't get him as secret santa, he got me. And I got a flying monkey toy that he had to order on the internet.

Thanks, I'll try that. Enjoy your holiday.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2009):

Am going away for a week.What gift did you give him?The guy doesn't seem like he is interested.Its never good to pursue a guy.Some guys are just old school.Please ignore him for a week.Don't look his way.Don't speak to him.Act happy with everyone.Let me know after a week of practicing the above what happened.Be strong.Do not contact him in any way even eye contact or smile.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Seret santa is where everyone pulls a name from the hat and the have to buy that person a present.

I already do all this. And he seems to try and avoid me. :(

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2009):

Smile.Be cool.Act happy to see him.What's secret santa?I don't know about it.Say hi and ask him if he is enjoying himself.One step at a time.Keep me posted on his reactions.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I'm a cashier and we only see each other a few times a month. Doubt I could ask what is going on in the office. But thanks for the advise.

Theres a night out at work in a few days. Any tips?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2008):

Bugs scratches head in confusion.Don't people smile at all nowadays?

Smile! Smile shyly at him.You need to take it really easy.See if he smiles back.Most of the guys like to pursue.Everything starts with a smile.

If he smiles back say hi.Once he says hi ask about any common event in your office.Speak about Christmas.Keep it neutral though.

Patience is a virtue.The hardest thing to do in a courtship is wait!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2008):

It sounds like both of you are shy! Why not tell him that you've got this fantastic recipe for curry or some other dish and ask him if he'd like to be the guinea pig when it comes to testing the results? If you don't cook, get a takeaway!

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