| A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Do married men who cheat, cheat with more than one mistress at a time? Or do some men stay with just one?I am interested in everybody weighing in with their opinions.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (31 January 2017):
 It does depend, some men have a long term mistress while others are serial cheaters who will just have sex with any woman that will have them. You should probably not have sex with your husband in case you catch something from him.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2017): Serial cheaters do. And often they are going from one tryst to the other or sleeping with many women at once. TBH I am not sure how they pull it all off seamlessly. It is a high stakes lifestyle.But there are also men who do it once only. Have one lady only. Or do it once but are open to available opportunities if they come along. Of course their lady would never know about those.Often there is something wrong with the man's character who does this. I believe if he is capable of cheating on his wife, he can also easily "cheat" on his mistress at any time. It is a very difficult position for a mistress who has fallen in love to live with the anxiety and worry that he may eventually dump her for somebody brand new or keep her because she he still has use for her while he seeks new thrills.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2017): I had an affair with a married man for 5 years. He said to me during our 'relationship'.. "I could easily have slept with other women I've had every opportunity". Like he was doing me a favour sleeping with only me behind his wife's back. Whichever way you look at it the number is irrelevant the mindset is what matters. I regret every minute of being with him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2017): This is a very common question. And a good one. And this situation affects millions of people everyday. Not sure why people here are always on a witch hunt for one person? Eyeswideopen?
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (28 January 2017):
 Some stay with one, some have many one night stands, but either way it's cheating.
If you're the poster EyesWideOpen thinks, you need to stop pondering the variants and just leave.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (28 January 2017):
 You must enjoy all this drama or you would have actually heeded all the great advice you have been given over the years.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-hid-a-recorder-and-heard-breathing-is.html
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2017): Interesting discussion.
I would like to add that if a married man cheats with a single, unattached mistress, he will never replace her as he knows she will tell his wife if he tries to toss her aside for the next one.
Nor would he be stupid enough to risk introducing a new flavour to his repertoire. Mistresses are jealous and possessive creatures by the very nature of the affair. And they would not take lightly to being replaced. The guy's got a lot to lose but she doesn't. Smart men don't go down this road. An emotionally invested mistress is a huge liability. A train wreck waiting to happen! Only a matter of time until she caves in and does something the married guy will regret!
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A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (27 January 2017):
 I think Honeypie is spot on when it comes to all the possible variants of "married men who cheat."
And as for which category any given man falls into, I think you'd have to examine his motives. What is he seeking (and getting) by having the affair?
If he just wants sex and intimacy he isn't having with his wife any longer, and only strayed in the first place because his needs genuinely weren't being met in his marriage, he might have only one mistress at a time (or one mistress ever, period).
If he does it for the thrill or the novelty, or gets off on the secrecy of it all, he's more likely to tire of any given mistress the way he has of his wife and seek additional variety when the initial excitement wears off. Is he the thrill-seeking type? Kinky in the bedroom?
That said, a cheating husband isn't a good candidate for trust whether you are the wife asking OR the mistress asking. It's anyone's guess whether a given man's desires will draw the line at "only" two women, or whether once he's gone behind his wife's back with one conquest it's even easier to do so with another should the opportunity arise.
If he's your husband and you haven't previously agreed to an open marriage, ANY mistress is one too many and you need to put your foot down about this, assuming you have proof.
If he's your affair partner and you're looking for proof he's not the type to string multiple women along for his own pleasure, the situation in which you find yourself should if anything prove he is CAPABLE of doing so. I'm sure he tells his wife she's his one and only too, but despite everything they have shared he had no trouble going behind her back when the opportunity presented itself.
Food for thought.
Hope this helps. Best wishes!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (27 January 2017):
 I don't think there is a yes or no answer here.
Some "only" have one at a time but do replace them as soon as they get too demanding, the novelty wears off, or as soon as the wife gets wind of an affair.
Some have only one for a very long time.
Some juggle several women. Especially men in jobs where they travel to several set destinations. My Grandfather was such a guy. The whole "a women in every port" was DEFINITELY his thing. But he wasn't married, yet he still had serious long term GF's whom he cheated on.
And some manage 2 at the same time. Usually grooming one before totally letting go of the other.
Does it really matter? A cheater is a cheater no matter HOW many women he is involved with at a time. And a cheater is a WASTE of time and someone YOU can not trust.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (27 January 2017):
 Are you kidding? No one can keep up with 3 women at a time1
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