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Do all men feel it's okay to cheat if they don't get caught?

Tagged as: Cheating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 January 2009) 19 Answers - (Newest, 4 January 2009)
A female age , anonymous writes:

Do all men feel it's ok to cheat if they knew they wouldn't get caught? And is it true that men are not naturally monogamous? Do every one of them really feel trapped by women who want a monogamous relationship?

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A male reader, roadman United Kingdom +, writes (4 January 2009):

roadman agony auntWell honey pie I don't know about once a cheat always a cheat,I've hurt some beautiful women feelings due to playing away games for a number of reasons,I can't say it made me feel good at all..

I found when I've hurt a woman its hurt me 10 times more,but I can only speak for myself one that subject,there some heartless men and women out there whotdon't give a dam whats so ever how one feels.

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A male reader, lowfunk99 United States +, writes (3 January 2009):

Remember it takes 2 to cheat. Woman cheat as much as men.

I have never cheated an a woman.

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A male reader, pinkey1981 United States +, writes (3 January 2009):

Most of men are pigs. Plain and simple. I think once you ve tasted the cheating lifestyle you will almost certainly go back. It takes a big turn for a man to become honest once hes taken that step.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (3 January 2009):

Honeypie agony auntI know it's crazy with them dolphins lol

Anyways back to the new question.. Once a cheat always a cheat?

Um not necessarily. I think it depends on a lot of things. Some people are serial cheater because they simply can not maintain a relationship, so they hop from bed to bed to bed, but "forget" to break up first. They aren't emotionally able to handle monogamy. Or they just don't have any scruples or morals. They let lust rule their life.

Others cheat once and realize WTH they did. To their partner, to their lover and last to themselves. They work on whatever issues made cheating a viable action and do not do that again.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Is "once a cheat always a cheat" a true statement?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009):

i've never cheated in a relationship. BUT i've broken up a lot of relationships so I can move on to the next girl - technicality I know. if I knew I could cheat & not be caught - I would simply break up first & then it's not cheating. btw I know lots of guys who do cheat even with the risk of getting caught so those guys would definitely cheat without that risk

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009):

No. I've never cheated or wanted to cheat on a woman I was with. However, 5 out of 8 ex girlfriends cheated on me, and they all had lame excuses for it but ultimately I know its because they met some hot guy and wanted to sleep with him and didnt have enough respect for me to say no. Ultimately if you are cheating on someone, they are not the one you're meant to be with. It's an individual basis thing, not a whole gender. Yes men are portrayed as horn dogs that will screw any women who asks (in society and in the media) but it's just not true... If anything I think women cheat more often.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009):

Damn now we got animal pornography, where will this sex thing stop?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (2 January 2009):

Honeypie agony auntI really wasn't kidding about the dolphins.. :)

http://www.sexwork.com/family/dolphinrape.html

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (2 January 2009):

Honeypie agony auntGoodness, I hope not. There is a very big line between felling attracted - lusting after - having fantasies whatnot - til actually cheating.

I wouldn't do it. And no Patrick Dempsey or Johnny Depp or another gorgeous man would make me want to do it either. That is what fantasies are for. I seriously don't believe you absolutely have to live out every fantasy you have.

To many times have I heard from people who cheat, it just happened, I couldn't control myself.. yada yada.. All bullshit in my book. Yes you can control it, you just chose not to. Not it didn't JUST happen. YOU made it happen. She/He was just a willing bystander.

I believe in monogamous relationships but they require a lot of work and maintenance to be successful. If you aren't willing to put in the effort.. stay single.

And yes dolphins will screw anything.. even a human(true), doesn't prove that humans can't be faithful.

I don't think it's just men however who would cheat if they knew 100 % they wouldn't get caught. Women seems to have joined the ranks of cheaters... After all, who else do the cheaters cheat with?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009):

biologically predisposed toward cheating - don't beleive so babes, but could be. But if men are like this, women are the same. We have tons of social pressure to keep us pure, it's not that men are dogs, it might be that women have been restrained.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Wow-I am floored by all of the responses!

Current cultural thinking seems to dictate that men should and would cheat if only to to somehow retain their manhood. Have you watched the reality shows? Men who turn down extra women are laughed at when they should be admired.

I know of men who just don't cheat despite the pressure, but they seem to be rare.

But is it true that men are more biologically predisposed toward cheating? Am I being prejudiced here? Are women equally predisposed to cheating? Or is this learned behavior?

BTW, even the most beautiful women in the world have been cheated on-Halle Berry, Princess Diana,....If it's not about beauty, is it about conquest? Is it about insecurity or immaturity?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Wow-I am floored by all of the responses!

Current cultural thinking seems to dictate that men should and would cheat if only to to somehow retain their manhood. Have you watched the reality shows? Men who turn down extra women are laughed at when they should be admired.

I know of men who just don't cheat despite the pressure, but they seem to be rare.

But is it true that men are more biologically predisposed toward cheating? Am I being prejudiced here? Are women equally predisposed to cheating? Or is this learned behavior?

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A male reader, pinkey1981 United States +, writes (2 January 2009):

Being one of the few men that are posting to this question. Personally for myself no, men arent all cheaters. Matter of fact ive never cheated even when i was younger. I think some guys are so insecure that they beleive its a boost to their egos to be able to cheat when what should boost their egos is pleasing their woman for a lifetime.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009):

Thanks Askoldersis for the clarification.. I now know who Patrick dempsey is.. interesting, but I made a mistake and checked out Jack demsey first, and now I'm side tracked by imaging him knocking a the door.

Open commmunication, honest, trust these things build strong relationships. Knowing that your partner finds somebody attractive and wants to sleep with them, shouldn't make you jealous and insecure, it should make your rejoice. If you know what turns him on, they it gives you more knowledge on how to keep him and please him. If you know who he fancies and has lust for, it gives you the chance to kill them and hide the body or move him far away from the temptation... Open relationships where men tell you their secret are good ones. Liars who hide cause problems, for me it's honesty every time, even if that honesty sometimes hurts.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009):

It's only fair, when Angelina Jolie comes to the door, I would have no option except to give her and him some space, and let her borrow my guy. All is fair, permission granted, consent sought.. Of course Angelina would have to ask Brad of course.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009):

Whose Patrick Dempsey? Well if Johnny Depp, came knocking at the door and wanted to see me, I would go and ask my partner for permission. Seeing my partner knows what I think of Johnny Depp, he would have no option but to grant me one night of wild passion, because he knows that I would blame him for ever for the lost opportunity. Then I wouldn't be cheating, because I would have my partners permission, and there would be no need to lie. If anybody has Johnny's address, tell him to get in touch once he dumps his current wife.... I'm single so I don't even need to get permission or ask..

Who the hell is Patrick Dempsey, is he more handsome than Paul Newman?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009):

1. No, most men know it's wrong to cheat even if they don't get caught.

2. Naturally, men, and probably women, aren't monogamous. People stray. But we're not (all) animals.

3. Sometimes people feel trapped in a relationship from time-to-time. That's a normal feeling. But, in the long run, cheating damages a special bond between people that causes more angst and problems than satisfacation in the longrun, usually.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009):

Disagree Askoldersis, some men cheat, some do not. Some are so happy in their relationships and so in love, that the most prettiest woman in the world could come around and they would still turn her down. Some men are naturally unfaithful, but most men cheat because they are unhappy and dissatisfied with the relationship they are currently in. Believe it or not, there are tons of guys trying to get into a monogamous, intimate relationship and it's the woman that turns them down. Women can cheat and want to sleep around too.

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