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Disturbed by his actions in bed

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 October 2012) 11 Answers - (Newest, 31 October 2012)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

When a guy is giving you oral sex and he holds his breath, does it mean you smell down there? And in the middle of sex, he gives a disgusted look, does it mean he IS disgusted with you?

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A female reader, Staceily United States +, writes (31 October 2012):

Staceily agony auntHe could really be holding his breath because he can't breathe while performing oral sex. He doesn't seem to be very skilled at what he is doing in my opinion, not that you are gross or smell. If you smelled very badly down there then he wouldn't go down there. He would avoid it altogether. Holding my breath when something smells bad makes me gag and I wouldn't willingly keep going through with it. He needs to learn to breathe through his nose and not to focus so much on what he is doing that he forgets to breathe. Just keep talking to him and tell him this. And the disgusted face when having sex, men make weird faces sometimes. Well women can too I'm sure, I haven't had sex with a woman to say either way. But I know my husband looks very unpleasant in the moment and makes some odd noises sometimes, lol. Don't feel so insecure about yourself. If you were disgusting looking and smelly he wouldn't be with you at all let alone having sex with you.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (31 October 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony aunthe has not learned to "breathe through his ears" yet...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2012):

Perhaps you are pushing his head down too hard onto your vagina while he is performing? Or squeezing your legs against his head?

My partner also comments about not being able to breathe, but only because of my actions. So I'm guessing it's not the way you smell.

As for the 'disgusted' look during intercourse, perhaps that is just his sex-face? I've seen some strange ones over the years, myself.

Speak to him about your concerns, as they are probably easily explained!

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A female reader, dee76 United Kingdom +, writes (31 October 2012):

Hi hun holding his breath could jus be his way of doin it, none of us come with a sex manual we have to learn. The disgusted look? Well could be his sex face or an issue he has. If your that worried invest in some feminine soaps and wipes to ensure u are smell free (we all smell in some way its natural) and ask him about the look, he may not even realise his doing it, good luckx

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A male reader, Krue Australia +, writes (31 October 2012):

Maybe he has just had some real bad experiences in the past from other women and he has made a bad habit of it. I think the best thing you can do is talk to him about it.

If you don't want to do that maybe go to the restroom before to wash up and make sure it's as fresh as a daisy for him?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

When he was down there last night, he literally held his breath and not even a minute later blew out alot of air on my leg. I asked him why he did that and he said he can't breath while he is down there. Im not misinterpreting or imagine this. Is he tell me the truth or just saying that to not hurt my feelings?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2012):

its not that weird, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with you.. nor him.

Now please forgive me as there's no real way to put this without some explanation..

some men simply have a pallet for it, some dont.

understand that for a guy, going down on a woman has a tendency of getting rather messy, especially if the female partner is very turned on.. you ladys are like waterfalls some times.. it doesnt mean he does not love you, or enjoy sex with you, its simply his body reacting, also understand that the body fluids of another human being have a whole host and range of chemicals and hormones you let loose, especially down there ad during sex..

this can sometimes have a adverse effect on a male if his chemicals are not in line with the mood and what-have-you. this is going to be blunt, but in no way offensive..

a guy going down on you, can smell things that a bloodhound would miss... its just the human body.

in no way weird. and in no way does it mean you're dirty or he doesn't enjoy sex... but there you have it.

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A female reader, oldbag United Kingdom +, writes (31 October 2012):

oldbag agony auntHi

Holds his breath? Strange!

I can't imagine a man would be able to physically 'perform' if he found a woman disgusting,he has to be attracted in some way, so think you have got it wrong.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2012):

If you feel comfortable enough to have sex with him, you should be comfortable enough to speak to him about your concerns. Maybe hold off on sex until you have cleared this matter with him as it cant be very nice to make love with someone who holds his breath when he gets intimate with you and looks disgusted.

The breath holding might be nothing to worry about and the face pulling might just be his way of expressing pleasure, some do pull very strange faces when they are excited! So talk to him and get the definitive answer as we can only guess and that`s not going to help you very much.

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A female reader, shrodingerscat United States +, writes (31 October 2012):

shrodingerscat agony auntNone of us can really tell you what he's thinking. Your best bet would be to talk to him honestly about your concerns. As good as we are, here, we're not mind readers. Sorry.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2012):

that's a very odd thing to do during sex. i definitely don't hold my breath nor do i appear disgusted. could you be misinterpreting his actions? or maybe he's gay? sorry, this is a very vague question, but i find it hard to imagine a guy acting that way.

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