A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating a girl for about 7 months now. When we first started dating we seemed to get along so well. We always saw each other at least once a week and we text on a regular basis.A few months ago, I don't know why but we seemed to have drifted apart. We don't text or call anymore and we don't see each other. We live about 45 minutes away from each other. I would drive to see her and sometimes she would drive to my house.I don't know why but I get the feeling she really doesn't like me anymore. Eventually I tried talking to her but that didn't go so well. I could tell she was annoyed with me. She says I don't listen to her, I admit I've never been a good listener. I try really hard sometimes but my mind wanders a lot and I often seem as if I'm not listening. This really bothers her.She also told me it annoys her when I'm indecisive. We would often ask each other what to do for dates and we couldn't come to a decision. This happened a lot because we are both indecisive. I'm also very shy and being shy means I'm usually uncomfortable when meeting new people. When I met her friends I'm very quiet and awkward. She told me that my shyness bothers her but I can't help it.Since we haven't talked in about a month I'm guessing she has lost interest in me. One day I called her to try and work things out. I asked her if she would rather break up with me since she never seemed happy with me anymore. She responded with, "Is that what you want?" It's absolute torture. I really like her, but I really don't know if she likes me back. She hasn't broke up with me even when I asked her if she wanted to so I don't know. We've been exclusive for 7 months. She also works 2 jobs and claims that's why she can't see me. What should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2011): I think you need to have a good long honest conversation with this girl and discuss where you both are going and what the two of you want.
I would also say that maybe your shyness is holding you back a little. If you are unsure of her feelings ask her, tell her how you feel and be more vocal in expressing what you want. Thats what women mean when we say we like men with confidence.
Try taking the reins and make the decisions for a change,just to see how it goes,perhaps she feels she is doing all the work between the two of you.
I hope the two of you resolve your issues.
Good Luck.x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2011): Hey!I'm sorry to hear that you're hurt and confused. I can understand where you're coming from because I used to be in a long distance relationship and I'm totally shy. From what you say here, it sounds to me that she just doesn't feel the same way anymore. I know that hurts to hear, it hurt me too, but trust me, the truth can set you free sometimes. It also sounds like she tends to criticize you a lot. That is not a very kind and good girlfriend thing of her to do. You deserve someone who is going to love you and accept you for who you are, and trust me, there are girls out there that will, and are more worthy of your time. I understand how hard it is to maintain a long distance relationship, and sometimes the high maintenance of those kinds of relationships tend to slowly destroy them. I'm not saying that all long distance relationships are doomed, but most of the time, it's proven that they just end up not working. I think you should call her and really talk to her about how you feel, and both of you should be honest with each other. You're hurting from not understanding what's going on, and it might hurt if she says she isn't into the relationship anymore, but trust me, that means you'll be able to move on to someone so much better who is actually deserving and worthy of your time. I hope this helped you and good luck!
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A
male
reader, Tom Obler  +, writes (5 August 2011):
 I think it is the end of the road here for the relationship. She doesn't contact you anymore so has lost interest. She gives reasons about indecisive, shy and not listening. None of this tells me that she is interested anymore. The lack of contact is simply a way of slowly pulling away. I would just let things fizzle out now. It's no good calling her because her iritation shows she doesn't want you to call. Therefore, leave things at that. Unless of course you want to call her to tell her you are through. but, don't hold onto any hopes here because this has ended.
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