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Did she have revenge sex?

Tagged as: Cheating, Sex, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 July 2007) 8 Answers - (Newest, 15 July 2007)
A male United States age 41-50, *esoreal writes:

Revenge Sex? My girlfriend and i were out with another couple. I knew the other girl for years, and we were all drinking. The other girl kissed me, open mouth style and I let her. My girlfriend saw this and was devistated.

Two weeks later my girlfriend shows up after work and I notice a scratch on her breast. A day later a large round bruide the size of a silver dollar appears on the back of her left thigh just below her butt. And about three inches away from the bruise is another that is the size of a dime. I asked about the bruises and was given no explanation.

Two days later, I get heavy and detailed instructions in bed while we were having sex. It was as if I had never been with her before and now she was telling me what she liked. It looks to me like she had rough sex with someone out of revenge and wanted me to see the evidence?

View related questions: revenge, rough sex

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A female reader, penta United States +, writes (15 July 2007):

penta agony auntYou obviously decided what it was and then wanted us to confirm. There are a lot of things it can be. Right now I think the two of you need to talk. If you don't, your relationship is pretty much over.

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A male reader, mesoreal United States +, writes (15 July 2007):

mesoreal is verified as being by the original poster of the question

mesoreal agony auntI wonder why she told me before I noticed them "I have bruises" Answer: It WAS intentional, regardless of how the marks were formed!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2007):

Maybe it was just SEX, not revenge sex.

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A female reader, penta United States +, writes (13 July 2007):

penta agony auntIf it were revenge sex, wouldn't she tell you about it? I get mystery bruises all the time, and if my spouse thought I was cheating every time I'd be in lots of trouble. lol.

So why did you let the other woman kiss you open-mouthed in the first place?

Trust once lost is really hard to get back. You two have some work to do. Don't snuffle around trying to find clues that may not be there. TALK to her. Open communication is really important now.

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A male reader, EC United States +, writes (13 July 2007):

Only you will really know if she is the type of person to be willing to cheat. The scratches and bruises could have come from anywhere. If she's the vengful type, she may have. Keep an eye on her, you'll know soon enough if she is cheating. A person who is willing to cheat will often start cheating more and more, usually until the their relationship is over because of a lack of trust and deciet. Recovery from a cheating partner is very difficult. Be sure you have the facts before confronting her, because it will be over either way at that point.

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A female reader, O Connor Ireland +, writes (13 July 2007):

O Connor agony auntdont jump to conclusions until you know the truth cos it will just eat away at you. it may or may not have happened and you just need to sit her down and explain why you are having this conversation - ie the marks and the sex instructions.....you should walk away from the conversation satisfied with the outcome and the answers and if you dont then there are obviously some trust issues that need to be resolved. keep your mind open and also apologise for wat happened with the other girl as she is probably still feeling hurt about it good luck xxx

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2007):

It sounds to me like she confided in a work colleague, probably female, who showed her a bit of loving tenderness rather than rough sex.

I think that if she'd have been chewed by a fella it would have been around the front end, upper and lower, not the back, and how many fellas do you know with long fingernails?

Follow her instructions. You'll both get a lot more from it in the end. If she doesn't tell you what she likes, how are you supposed to guess? Make the most of it - at least she's still letting you see her naked!

Sherlock Holmes

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A male reader, eddie Canada +, writes (13 July 2007):

eddie agony auntWell, that is a real leep but also a possability. HAve you asked her what happened. You can never prove where a bruise or scratch came from so don't try to be a detective. I know it will eat you up inside but keep your eyes and ears open and see how she behves.

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