A
male
age
30-35,
*rico
writes:Hello dear cupid . I have a nice girl am dating right now, she even was the one who confessed her love to me on text. i have developed these intense feeling for her and we have grown so much fund of each other. sometimes she text me that she wish to be with me forever. That her love for me is endless . I have never had sexual intercourse with any girl That i have dated but am having a problem of being addicted to masturbation. We fixed a date and we planned on having sex. a day before the date i masturbated like twice. the day we planned for arrived and it was at my home,we had nice chats and afterwards, we started kissing and caressing each till she was eager for me to have sex with her i romanced her till she pulled off immediately and i began stimulating her breast,her body and i fingered her already wet vagina so hard that she even begged for real sex(penile entry). She even told me i am the first one to use my fingers on her Which excited her the most. Nevertheless the most disappointing of it all is i couldn't have a full erection then to penetrate her. She tried rubbing my penis for me to get full erection,it wasn't responding still to make love to her which all wanted so badly. It got to a point she was worried what could be wrong with me. I tried my possible to get a hard erection to penetrate her. Afterwards i got an erection not as hard as i wanted to penetrate her i managed to penetrate her she was really enjoying it because she was damn wet. After about ten minutes, My erection turned off and i was disappointed. She tried to arouse me again. This time she came on top and it was really amazing for a while and dropped again. These repeated twice till she told me she was satisfied. I felt flattered because she told me am wild on bed and never a tired guy as i tried pushing myself hard to maintain my stand as a guy eager to satisfy his girl. We stilled kissed so well before we dressed Up . On our way trying to accompany her she recommended for making her so happy. Right deep in me i felt flattered. I felt like she was trying not to make me feel bad. I repeatedly asked her she gave me positive response telling me her best sexual experience was with me. But for me it was enough for her. She even called me telling me she had a nice day with me. Sending a text to me that i made her day. She told me she will nice times and sex with me. Please dear candid agony aunt come to my help me with the chaos erupting my mind. I want to know if truly from all indications she enjoyed the interruptive sex as it seems or she trying not to make me feel sad. Please most how do i achieve a perfect hard erection. Thanks for your collaboration in advance. Help a brother in despair .
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, supermum  +, writes (1 November 2015):
 Putting pressure on yourself like that will give you performance anxiety. That will make it harder to get and maintain an erection. You really need to relax. It was your first time so you were nervous and that is understandable. You need to stop asking her if you did okay. Firstly it will start to annoy her, and secondly you are basically accusing her of lying by saying she had fun and you keep asking like you don't believe her. Yes... she is trying to make you feel better. But I am sure she had fun too.There is nothing wrong with you or your penis, and masturbation has nothing to do with your troubles. The thing is, watching porn can give people unrealistic expectations about sex. The first few times is usually a little rubbish while you get to know each other, relax, and figure out what you like.Keep trying. The more you relax and let go, the better things will be. Tensing up may cause you more issues. Why not spend some time massaging each other before you get round to penetration? And if you are struggling to maintain an erection again try not to panic or get upset over it as that will only make things worse. You will get there hun please don't worry. Let go and have fun!!!
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (27 October 2015):
I don’t understand why you’re so upset. I think you imagine that there is a really high standard of sexual performance that you somehow failed to live up to, and that’s just not the case. You got a 10-minute erection, penetrated her and then did it a few more times after the first event. That is a pretty healthy and normal level of sexual performance. I think you were very anxious and that’s probably what caused the initial difficulty for you in getting an erection. Your girlfriend would not have gone to such lengths to tell you how good you were if she hadn’t enjoyed it. It sounds very much like she did. It also sounds like she was giving you feedback that you had really fuelled her desire to have sex through your fingering. This was her showing, in the heat of the moment, that she was enjoying herself: pretty hard to fake.
The fact of the matter is, if you don’t trust what she says, you’re going to get yourself really nervous and then you might actually find that things do start to go wrong. Next time, tell her before you get down to business to tell you what she really likes and what she is and isn’t enjoying, so you can give her more of what feels good, and perhaps tell her what you like too. I think good sex is only half about technique and the rest is down to good communication. That’s because every sexual partner is different. So, listen to her and trust her, and try to relax and enjoy yourself. It’s not about proving yourself as a man or trying to last as long as possible, pushing harder and harder. It’s about intimacy and enjoying and pleasing each other.
I wish you all the very best.
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