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Did my wife have sex with her lover during her affair?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Cheating, Marriage problems, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 June 2011) 6 Answers - (Newest, 11 June 2011)
A male Guyana age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Me and my wife are married for 3 years we have a son together. Recently we've been having alot of arguments and i could't take it so i moved out. during that month my wife met a guy from her new work place and they started talking a lot. my wife and i had a discussion on our relationship and we've decided that we would work it out. i've only moved out for a month when i came back i asked her if she had an affair with anyone she said no. a few days later some of friends saw her with another guy and i saw the messages in her phone. I found out that she lied about everything she then came and confessed everything. she said that they kissed a lot, she's touch his privates, kissed all over his chest, and he's done pretty much the same to her. She claim that he never kissed her breast. even when i moved back in she was still continuing this.They go out alot to places where they are alone. my wife says she loves him but she wants to work it out with me becasue we have a family. i asked her to cut communication with him but she said she can't. I asked if she's had sex with him but she denies i strongly think she did but refuse to tell me. should i believe that she did not have sex with him?

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A male reader, Tbonex United States +, writes (11 June 2011):

Tbonex agony auntIt is a reason it's called an "Affair" She dissed you homie, straight up.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011):

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/should-i-confess-to-my-husband.html

Check out the above.

Dear OP, the sad truth is YES your wife did cheat on you and she is lieing to you. She did have sex with her lover.

Can you even trust her again? Do you even want to? If she could run around when u started having problems then what's stopping her from cheating again. Personally I think you should just cut your loses and move on. Oh and don't forget your son. He deserves better bec his mother is incapable of taking care of him adequately.

LoveGirl

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A male reader, Dodds Kenya +, writes (9 June 2011):

Dodds agony auntDude i think she is totaly playing you for a fool,she wants to have her cake n eat it too,shes walking all over you,youre tolerating substandard behavior..not good! find a good wooden floor,use it n put your foot down. You share a kid n it seems you still love her so stop speculating bout whether shes being hnst bout a,b,c...stop speculating bout wht she is feeling or thinking n work out a strategy on how to either win her back or move on with your life...DO SOMETHING!! Gd luck

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A female reader, zebralove Canada +, writes (9 June 2011):

zebralove agony auntIf you guys are going to work this out, it will be impossible if she still sees him and comunicates like this with him. She is having an emotional afaire with this man. Would you realy trust her againe?

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A female reader, RedAthena United States +, writes (9 June 2011):

RedAthena agony auntThere is NO way any of us or YOU could know EXACTLY what took place between than man and your wife.

She told you a lot of details already. If she can not cut all ties with him, then she is getting a need met with him that she is not getting from you.

You can not work on your marriage with this "invited guest" of hers between you.

If people really want to work on their marriage, they give up their childish ways, give up their childish wants, and devote themselves to the relationship.

Best Wishes.

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A female reader, raiders United States +, writes (9 June 2011):

raiders agony auntDoes that matter to you? She is telling you she can't stop talking to him so if she has or hasn't really doesn't matter because if she continues to keep in contact with him it will happen.

If your wife was really trying to make your marriage work than she would put a stop to her relationship with him.

Don't be blind and don't fool yourself thinking you have an innocent wife, but if your willing to forgive than make her put a stop to this other man and commit to her marrige.

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