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did I do the right thing in forcing him to choose between me and the weed?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 May 2007) 5 Answers - (Newest, 16 May 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *ammie_lou writes:

Hia everyone ive been with my boyfriend for a year now and through out this year all we've done is argue and instead of sorting it out it gets swept under the carpet. not so long ago he kicked the living day lights out of me (literlly) and im all badly bruised and then he dumped me, we made up the nxt day and minutes after i went home i phoned him 2 see where he was he was out with his 2 mates and goin back a year ago he stopped smoking weed {spliffs} because i stopped it i don't like it, anyway i told him in tht phone call not to do anythin 2 hurt me as in cheat and he said aww dont worry babe i wont but there is one thing i said what and he said im going to smoke a spliff..i had to hang up on him, and txted him asking him to choose between me and weed! have i done the right thing or not? what shall i do?

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A female reader, sammie_lou United Kingdom +, writes (16 May 2007):

sammie_lou is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks guys for your replies. F**k taking him back thanks to you all i managed to tel him where to go!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2007):

Never Ever let him lay another hand on you, you should have called the police,a man who hits his girlfreind isnt even a real man at all, number one tell someone what he did, number two get the heck out of this relationship!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2007):

you are doing the right thing 100% dont make him choose though.why dont you chose for him?puff is crap and we are finding out more and more about the negative effects it has on humans.ive seen it around me.people whove smoked it for years saying it "chills them out"i know several people like this and you know what they have got the most nastiest side to them when they can get hold of any cannabis and are very addicted to it.they have withdrawal symptoms and become more and more aggresive over the years.this was probably the case with this guy beating you up.they say oh im smoking it to chill and like any drug it buries their true feelings deeper and deeper.in some cases their feelings never come back properly as with hard drugs.with your man it classic if you stay with him youll see him go further and further down the toilet.isnt enough that he literally beat the crap out of you???hes already got you so low that your back with him the next day???stay away and live your life.

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A male reader, sleepyhollow American Samoa +, writes (15 May 2007):

He hit you. You touched you in anger and beat you.

That alone is all you need to know. Break up with him, and if comes around and bothers you, get a restraining order.

There are far better guys out there who work too hard to be good to women, and who don't do drugs, for you to put up with both from one guy. If you think you love him, I suggest you get yourself away to a far away place, where other relatives can give you a place a stay, and where you can finish up your school years away from bad influences. It wouldn't be the first time a girl has moved in order to get some perspective on an abusive relationship.

But however you get away from him, either just breaking up with him and dealing with him locally, or moving away, do it. He is bad news, and if he is capable of touching you once in anger, he's capable of doing it again, and again, and again. And it'll only get worse, before it ever gets better... and it only gets better when he starts to get too old or out of shape to beat you like he used to... get my drift?

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A female reader, TELLULAH United Kingdom +, writes (15 May 2007):

TELLULAH agony auntSweetie,

The right thing to do would be to ditch this guy, weed or not. You are worth much more than that.

The problem with smoking this stuff, is you never see a persons true personality. And before anyone says this is rubbish, it does not change you if you smoke it, I can tell you that it does, no if's but's maybe's.

I have a lot of reasons to say this, I have lived through it for many years. It makes you paranoid, lazy and un-reasonable. It should be totally banned except to be used for medical reason's as with most drugs.

Getting back to your boy though, cant you see that he is totally wrong for you. Get someone nice, with a future, who doesnt want to use you as a punch bag.

Good luck Honey, and I hope you take my advice. XX

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