A
female
age
22-25,
*panner28
writes:I posted a question a few days ago with regard to my boyfriend working away and barely contacting me.. well the bottom line is... I dumped him about 15 mins ago.Let me explain why... This morning I text him for answers as to why he finds it so hard to just text me once a day and he went in his typical mood saying 'I work all day every day get the fuck off my back and give me a break or fuck off'. I'm used to this kind of stubborn mood from him and tonight I had a lot of time to think. I went for something to eat with my friend and she told me that I should cut ties with him if he doesn't contact me after a week BUT I had a revelation when I was driving home..'Why should I wait for something that won't happen?'I dumped him by text (yes I know it might seem harsh but he won't answer his phone and I can't go see him). I explained that I am in love with him and one day I will want him back but only when he realises that I have needs as well as him. I also told him that I deserve a boyfriend who will give me the time of day even when he is working. Again I made it clear I love him a hell of a lot and I hope one day we can rekindle our love, I also said we can be mates.Though I have a very painful feeling in my stomach I am not breaking down in tears. As much as I love him and want to be with him I have realised that this situation won't change and he will just keep treating me like a convenience.Did I make the right decision or should I have given him the benefit of the doubt and waited a week to see if he contacted me?
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female
reader, cd206 +, writes (18 November 2008):
 Well chick, if it helps at all, remember this. Me and A were together when we were teenagers and we broke up for all sorts of reasons but mostly because I was going away to uni and I didn't think we could survive it but six years later, we're back together which just proves that when it's really love, it's really love. You'll be ok.
Cat
A
female
reader, Spanner28 +, writes (18 November 2008):
Spanner28 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hey i would like to thank you both for the replies, especially you cat. I did feel a bit raw at the fact he didnt text back but he did text back the next say saying he is ok with it and to remember that he does love me and always will. We have agreed that we want to stay in each others lives and remain friends and to maybe see what happens in the future when he comes home.
What i did was the right thing even though i am in love with him. I believe that because we had such a strong, close and loving relationship we will eventually get back with each other even when we have had other relationships but attempting to be what we were while we are so far apart is just impossible right now.
Thankyou for your help i really appreciate it xx
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (16 November 2008):
Hi. I'm sorry I didn't reply to your message. Was just about to when I recognised you from the question line.
I think you did the right thing if you really feel like you described. Long distance relationships are 10 times more tough than other relationships and if both of you are not 100% committed to making it work you are doomed from the very beginning. I hope you find happiness soon, with him or without him.
Cat
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A
female
reader, Teacake  +, writes (16 November 2008):
 The only mistake you made was to tell him you love him. He is obviously abusive. He will only keep you on a string and it will always be about him, what's good for him, when its good for him.... etc. NEVER reply to him if he texts you. Can you block his number?
Find a man who loves you, has time for you and WANTS to be with YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DO NOT CONTACT HIM AGAIN or he will think you are begging and weak. This is good practice to be a strong woman who is looking out for herself and refuses to be mistreated by abusive men.
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