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Did I make a mistake of calling him cute?

Tagged as: Dating, Faded love, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 March 2016) 4 Answers - (Newest, 18 March 2016)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I've been seeing someone for several weeks and we got intimate twice. No sex (pants still on) but topless as we both agreed we weren't ready for sex yet (I'm a virgin). Both times were great however during second time I was shy and called him "cute" and "so cute" a few times. Instead of using more attractive words like say, sexy. Afterward he stopped contacting me. He replies in a friendly way but no longer reaches out. Did I make a mistake of calling him cute? Did that turn him off or discourage him? I know men are sensitive to this and it wasn't intentional. I think I made a mistake and I want him back. What do I do?

View related questions: ready for sex, shy

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (18 March 2016):

Honeypie agony auntI don't think it was the word "cute" that made him stop contact. I think it was the fact that he wasn't going to get sex for a LONG while from you.

While CUTE is not overall a great compliment, more for a purse, puppy, dress etc. than a person. I don't think it's what made him back away.

I think if he was honestly looking for sex more than a serious relationship, a bit of topless fondling is not going to cut it.

I'd sit back and NOT contact HIM any further and I agree IF he does get back in touch, have the meet up in public and with your clothes on.

Personally, I would just block/delete his number and move on.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (18 March 2016):

So_Very_Confused agony auntWhen my much younger husband was my NSA boytoy I called him cute all the time. HE HATED IT.

it was not enough for him to leave me or end the relationship.

being intimate with someone after only several weeks of knowing them is not a wise idea if you attach to them quickly after being intimate....

remember Women need a reason to have sex men just need a place....

in other words... he got sex... now he's ready to move on since he's not that into you.

if you want him to come back you can TRY This:

do not contact him at all

when he contacts you, be cool... do not ask to see him.

wait and see what happens.

if he asks to see you make sure it's in public and it's NOT for sex.

based on his responses to this will tell you how to proceed.

it's probably going to be a "let it go" kind of thing.

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A male reader, Sam Wilson United States +, writes (18 March 2016):

Sam Wilson agony auntAs a guy...Im not classified as Hot, Pretty , nor sexy. All I was called was Cute, so its not offensive and embarassing for me. But if you're sharing an intimate moment even if its not sex, I have to say that even though as a guy i prefer my partner cute than sexy, most guys just wants to be sexy/hot for their partner.

But I agree, as a guy I dont think embarassment would prevent a guy from getting laid.

Just be sincere , say youre sorry , and be supportive. Dont let the little things get in the way of potentially big moments. Good luck!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2016):

I'm a guy around your age and have had girls call me "cute". Guess what? I still slept with them and can say that 99.99% of guys who like you will not get turned off by being called cute. Guys assume you mean that we are cute in a you would date us kind of way rather then just a one night stand.

As for why he is not reaching out to you it could be a lot things. Like if your texting him too much and not giving him time to respond or think about you.

This sounds harsh, but it could also be the fact that he know you guys will not have sex any time soon. Guys will lose interest some times in a women they know they will not have sex with as sex is a big deal to the average guy.

But you said you both are not ready? don't know if he is Virgin too but that could be a problem. He could be nervous about the hole thing maybe getting cold feet.

He might not be so enthusiastic about taking your virginity, which is not a big deal but some guys can get nervous about it so keep that in mind.

My advice is to not think too much about it. Just play it cool and carry on with your everyday routine. Let him contact you and show he is interested. Otherwise move on. Good luck!

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