A
female
age
36-40,
*ellybeans20009
writes:Last night a few of my friends and I went to go to a dance club. We were sort of craning our neck to try to spot any attractive guys in the place and there was very few. However, at one point during the night, my friend was able to spot this very tall good looking guy. She was staring at him for a few moments and I started to see it.I urged her to approach him but she was too shy to do it.Later on, he came over to our group while we were dancing. It was a real shock because we never thought we would get to talk to them. He was dancing right next to me and started to strike up a conversation. I was reserved for the fact that I knew that my friend had her eyes on him. When my friend saw this happening, she left with another girl friend to go to the bathroom and etc. The conversation was normal. We asked each other where we were originally from, our majors, and etc. He eventually moved on to talk to one of the other girl friends that came with us. It makes me wonder what would have happened if I had been a little more aggressive. My situation is that I have very little opportunity to meet with guys as I go to a school filled with 90% girls and my part time job is as well. I have never been in a serious relationship before and am 23. I can be brutally honest right now and admit that I am quite eager to meet with attractive men, go on a few dates, and see where it goes. This could have been something.On the other hand, there's girl friend etiquette, which is blurry and never clearly mapped out. In my gut, I just felt it was wrong, so I stayed away. But I would be lying if I said I didn't want to get to know this guy a little better. If I tried to reason it out, the friend who was also interested is currently dating two boys at the moment already. Has been in a 2 year long relationship and has said she is not looking forward to settling down with anyone at the moment. And it was not as if this was her boyfriend or guy that she is currently talking to either.In the car while we were driving home I told her that I passed him up for her sake but she refused it and said that I should've gone for it. I don't completely believe that. What is right and wrong? I am kicking myself in the butt for not have taken that opportunity and running with it but on the other hand I think I saved my girl friend a lot of pride and avoided tension between us.Advice is appreciated. Thank you in advance.
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female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (28 August 2011):
 your're a lovely friend! but guess what? nice girls finish last! i can understand you did not want to go with him coz your friend had been looking at him, but 'i saw him first' is not really worth anything.
he liked you, not her. she had not even spoke to him. she has got two men on the go already?? and you have got none. if you friend tells you she wouldn't have minded, well good, coz its not her business to mind, she has no ownership over a man that she has 'looked at'.
maybe you might run into him again and you will get a chance to flirt. but if not, don't worry, just see this as a lesson!
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