A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi I'm 24 years old. I'm doing self pleasuring since high school, and I clearly remember a time when right after I bled a little. Now I've almost had complete sex with my boyfriend, but all the three or four times we've tried I had to stop him because it hurt. But if I masturbate even with something a little bigger than a finger or two, it doesn't hurt. I know I'm still virgin technically, but it's possible that I had already broke my hymen but the first "real" time will hurt anyway?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008): yes you could have broken yourself but the first time u havesex will still hurt thats just how it is.
A
female
reader, YummyMummy  +, writes (28 November 2007):
 Good luck hun :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much, you two helped me a lot. Next time I will try to relax better ^_^
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A
female
reader, BreeBree  +, writes (15 November 2007):
My first time, what hurt wasn't my hymen breaking (I think it already broke because of tampons, etc.), but just I don't know, the stretching? that is not technical, but something big going in something really little?. (and he had fingered me before for years before we had sex.) But sex def. hurt and not just the first time, but probably the first 3 times.
I pretty much did the grit the teeth thing too, lol. It was my wedding night and I was just almost laughing because it hurt. He just had to slow it down and I had to bear the pain. But, really, I think a major thing was that we did very little foreplay the first couple times. He went twice on our wedding night. When we did foreplay for 15 minutes, I was self-lubricated and turned on and was able to "take" a lot more. It really DOES hurt, for some women more than others, my friend said it hurt for the first week of sex. That was not just the hymen breaking.
Don't worry, it does get better.
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A
male
reader, Sandman +, writes (15 November 2007):
 It's possible that your hymen may still be partially intact. The hymen should NOT be a complete barrier in the vagina as to allow for the flow of blood during your menstrual period. Masturbating probably is only allowing something as big as the hymen opening to be inserted without tearing the rest of the hymen. An erect penis (normally quite a bit larger than a finger) is gonna tear the remainder of the hymen during sex. If it's hurting while he's trying to insert his penis, it's probably due to your hymen being torn. If the pain is mainly due to the fact that something the size of your boyfriend is being inserted (and your vagina hasn't experienced this before) I would imagine the discomfort coming from that. Relaxing will definitely help "ease" insertion. Being properly aroused and lubricated is a big plus. Often times men think women get ready for sex as fast as we do. All we need to do is obtain an erection and it's go time. For women it takes a bit of coaxing and cooing to get her juices (pun intended) flowing in order for sex to occur. Foreplay.
Hope this helps.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much, I was a little scared also because I read that to some women it hurt even after the first time.
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (15 November 2007):
Yes it will hurt. You may not realise that you are nervous because it is your first time, where as when you masterbate you are totally relaxed. The pain normally fades once things "get going" so keep trying and you will get there.
My first time hurt but I grinned and beared the pain so to speak and once I relaxed a bit in to it it wasn't quite so painful.
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