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Did he really get condoms to use with the toy?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 April 2013) 6 Answers - (Newest, 9 April 2013)
A female United States age 36-40, *onfused_26 writes:

Hi everyone,

I really need some answers here as I am a nervous mess right now. I previously was here asking about condoms in my boyfriend's school bag which he claimed to have packed for a trip we were taking. Most people said believe him so I left is at that. Now, I went away on vacation and when I came back I saw in the top of the closet a box for a masturbator that has both vagina and anus. I feel he did this on purpose as he's mentioned how upset he was I use a dildo. I had asked him if he will use a fake vagina and he said no. Now I see he went ahead and bought one. Then I found the key to his safe and when I looked in there was the fake vagina and anus, a lubricant and way in the back practically hidden 2 condoms. Now my mind is blowing off, are the condoms for the fake vagina or is he screwing some other chick? I told him about the box and he said although he had said no before he got curious after I mentioned it. Then I asked if he bought condoms and he said no, just the vagina and the lubricant, I said please say the truth, if you bought it for that is OK, I just don't want to bump into it and think something else. so then he finally gave in and said yes, that he bought some. I asked why since we have a box FULL of condoms and he said Because the onces we have are bareskin and those are better for us and he don't want to waste it so he bought the ultra thin for the toy. However, he got extremely defensive, said that was none of my business and ended up raising his voice at me and it all ended in a huge argument. I really don't know what to think as I do not have guy friends who use fake vaginas. Do guys normally wear a condom with these toys? I read somewhere that it is recommended because they can form bacteria. However, I am still puzzled because first he said he isn't into toys so he wouldn't buy one, now he boys one and I find 2 condoms which leads me to think he bought a 3 pack and used 1. Please help me. Could he really had bought the condoms for the masturbator? or should I be more worried he is playing me dirty with another girl?

View related questions: condom, dildo, lubricant, vagina

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (9 April 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntYou don't trust him. That's because he's lied to you in the past.

Trust is hard to rebuild.

If you can't manage to trust him, then I'm not sure the relationship is worth it. I mean do you really like questioning everything you find out?

do you like that you feel the need to snoop and then ask about it....

he has told you what he's going to tell you about it and you do not believe him.

and yes you can easily use condoms for sex toys... my friends like them on their butt plugs.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2013):

I dont see a problem with using a condom on a toy. I see a problem when he tried to lie about having bought condoms. Now why is that? I agree that you better keep your eyes open girlfriend, keep them open!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (9 April 2013):

Honeypie agony auntUsing condoms with sex toys is good practice honestly. Many sex toys are made of certain types of "rubber" is suspected of causing cancer (specially cheap toys), so using a barrier (condom) is wise.

If you have no other reason to NOT trust him, I think you need to relax about this.

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A female reader, Confused_26 United States +, writes (9 April 2013):

Confused_26 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

HI, I am the question asker, and to answer your question, no. I do not see any other signs. He is just secretive and keeps that in a safe so it makes mt mind wonder. However, so far, THANKS GOD, I have not seen any other signs, like going out, weird calls, nothing of that nature. The trust is an issue, because he's lied before about other things and maybe because I was really badly hurt by my ex so now I am with 5 eyes open.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2013):

Hi there,

Using condoms for a sex toy, especially as you were on vacation, seems perfectly plausible, to be fair. I have used them for this reason and know plenty of guys who do. Also, how do you know the other guys don't use sex toys? They won't tell you!

It seems you just put the idea into his head with what you said. Don't worry about sex toys, it's normal and healthy. If there are other reasons to be suspicious, then fine, but you don't mention anything I think flags up as a concern.

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A female reader, R1 United Kingdom +, writes (8 April 2013):

R1 agony auntI have no idea if he used it for his sex toys or for a girl... This is about trust. Is there trust in your relationship? Do you have other doubts outside of the condoms?

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