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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi--i know i shouldnt be worried about this b/c its been over a year with my b/f and its way too late..Last sumer--we had been going out for a few months--like maybe 4 or so...he went to the shore for the weekend where they have bars/clubs etc--i was not of age yet so i couldnt go. We kept in contact all weekend. He went with a few guys and i remember when we were talking he was joking around saying no guys, dont be around any guys..I said what about you and girls and then he was saying so and so's sister came down--can't do anything with that(meaning b/c its his sister)and her friend who is(rather not say what he made fun of her) Anyway--when he comes back...one night we are looking through his phone and then i see her name--the guys sister and he said oh i dont need that anymore--and he deletes it in front of me--i never thought to ask why did you have it. Then i think the next night or whenever it was--we go out to a bar with some of the guys he went with and i'm going through his pics and i come across a blonde girl--obviously the guys sister b/c kinda looks like him and he takes the phone and shows his friend who does this look like--and the guy said oh so and so's sister as if it wasnt her or something and he took it from the tv(you know what i mean--almost like a cover up)--Back then i never really thought too much of it but now i am wondering--did he have a fling with her or something? Why would he have a pic of her and take the cell and ask his friend oh who does this look like..and it was a close up pic.I know i shouldnt be thinking of this a year later but all of a sudden i am and i know i cant really bring this up now-and i'm sure a person would just deny it. What do you think? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2006): You brought this exact same question up a couple of months ago on another website and got great advice back then as well. Why on earth are you still going over it in your mind? I know you are well known for repeating the same 2 or 3 problems all the time on different websites but if you seriously unable to let go of this (what I would class as an insignificant) event after a year then you really dont seem mature enough to handle the relationship you are in. Relationships should be based on trust and you obviously don't have any for your boyfriend. My advice to you would be let it go or move on.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2006): I think that if you had addressed your concerns a year ago, you wouldn't be where you are today; hurt and mistrustful.
I think Suorpio is right in that you let this fester for far too long and now what can you do?
Has it been a good year with this mate?
I think talking to him and asking if you can trust in him would be a good start. Then accept what he has to say.
If you cannot get over this "what if"...then what can you do as your fear and mistrust will push him away.
Let it go Babydoll...let it go.
*hugs*
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2006): Why are you thinking about this a year later? Has your boyfriend done anything lately which makes you doubt his loyalty? If that's the case, then you may want to re-examine things and whether you can really trust him. However, if he's been a good guy since then, I'd say you're being a little paranoid and can let this go.
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