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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi there. im 22 years of age and never experienced a serious relationship, all my friends are in serious relationships now and im getting tired of their "love stories". I've been set up on blind dates, i go out with my friends regulary and ive even tried internet dating. Sureley theres someone out there for me? Please help. im so depressed about it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2006): You're depressed? You're kidding right? [sarcastic] No of course you're not. Your life must not have much in it. I guess, just day to day, job here and there, morning newspaper, movies and shopping in the weekend, possibly a party here and there. Ooh fun.
What was I doing at 22? [ponders] Oh yes, I was a director of my own company. No time for love. Haha...
Seriously though, yes as Shania has suggested - you could do something else in your life that can excite your senses, give you something more to do than think about boys... BOYS! I'm high in work mode.
Hmmm... Bev speaks good, agree, I do. If your friends speak of love stories and you get depressed, would you also get depressed if your friends all had successful careers, make 8 figure incomes, and take weekend vacations overseas? (What am I getting at?)
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (21 May 2006):
 Keep plugging away. You're doing the right things to meet people, but age 22 is pretty early to start getting depressed about not having found Love!
Live your life as if every day is important to you, and not as if you're just marking time until you find a boyfriend! Aren't you important as a person? What about the contribution you make in your family's and friends' lives? Aren't those relationships important and valuable? Don't be depressed.
One aspect of all your friends' relationships that you don't seem to have registered is that at least some, and probably most of them are temporary relationships at this time in their lives. Do you think the relationships that your friends have are going to be permanent? Not likely. Few people meet their lifetime partners at your age, so your friends are actually just dating "for fun". Ask yourself how many of your friends have dated total idiots, and broken up with those guys over the last couple of years. There's a good chance that it's almost all of them. Did you want to lump yourself into that category, just to say you had a boyfriend? Yeesh!
If all you want to do is to be in some sort of relationship with a man, then I'll bet you could turn up in a bar, or login to a dating site and you'd find someone willing to meet you in about half-an-hour! But that's not what you want, really, is it? What you're looking for is a solid, loving, respectful relationship (right?). That kind of thing doesn't come along every 10 minutes, like the citybound bus; it takes a lot of time to find.
You're worrying WAY too early in your life, judging your success and rating yourself by comparing your life to your friends' lives -- a habit you probably should have made a point to lose when you left junior high school.
Instead, what you should be doing is meeting as many people as possible, so that you can expand your network of friends, and friends of friends, so that you can maximise your chances of meeting a man whose personality matches yours. The things that you're doing are a good start, but why not expand on that? Join clubs and take classes in things that you're interested in. Get involved in local politics. Volunteer at the animal shelter. Whatever. Make your goal to meet PEOPLE, and you'll find that you start meeting more men, as a by-product of that goal. Eventually you'll probably meet someone compatible, but Relax; don't worry!
Lastly, don't rush yourself. Good relationships take time to find, and they take time to develop. You're only just hitting your first stride in the adult world in your early twenties. Enjoy your life first and be happy within your own skin. Once you're at that point, if a boyfriend comes along, it's just the icing on the cake.
Take care!
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A
female
reader, shania  +, writes (20 May 2006):
 Hey! you are still young...ok so you haven't met the ONE yet....it doesn't matter,your friends maybe happy with their partners and you feel the odd one out...but,your time will come.Why dont you try and concentrate on having a good time when you are out with your friends and dont look intentionally for a potential boyfriend...your more likely to meet someone when you are not actually,looking out for it.If blind dates have been unsucessful and internet dating....then why dont you try taking up a hobby where there will be men about.You could take a course in car mechanics....dancing or drama classes.All you have to do is be yourself,fella's love a girl with a good sense of humour....i know its difficult because you are depressed at the moment but believe me,if you think you are fun to be around...then it will rub off on other people.There is someone out there for you....its just you haven't met him yet.....but you will.
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