A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,well me and my girlfriend have been dating over the phone for a year now.and i belive we fell in love and from the bottom of my heart i truly love this girl she is everything i have ever wanted.but the biggest problem is the fact she wont meet me.her prevous relationship was quite bad to the point where he physically and sexually abused her she says she is scared that could happen again.for one im not that type of man i would never do that to her and i have assured her of that many times plus because of her insecurity i have decided that i could wait and give her time.but thru out this time i have become more and more insecure myself.like she is hiding something cuz she does anything to avoid us meeting and it hurts my heart a great deal cuz i felt that i have been here and have been patience.my friends and family really dont like this anymore they do nothing but critize me for staying cuz they are worried about me but i love her.wat should i do? we also live about 20min away from eachother so its a not distance thing.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2009): Over and year and you 2 haven't met? I think there's no excuse for that and you love her so I dunno about that either. So what u wanna wait another yr? I think you understand her very well but she doesn't understand you or isn't willing to take a chance with you. We all need to get over our past and move on. I think you should tell her how you feel and it is affecting your life. That you are hoping for something more. That you want to be with her. Give it a little more time but you will have to prepare to move on if she doesnt. At least you two can be friends.
A
female
reader, bobbles32  +, writes (11 June 2009):
 I'm curious as to how you two "met" each other!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2009): Yes, I would be suspicious as well. It's understandable that she would be worried about being hurt again like she was in her old relationship, but that doesn't mean she can't meet you once, in a public place! After a year, it seems pretty unreasonable. It also seems a little strange that you consider her your girlfriend without ever having actually met her.
Have you seen pictures of her? If not, do you think maybe she could be hiding because she is afraid of the way she looks etc? It's a possibility. Maybe she is in a wheelchair, or older/younger than she said or some other crazy thing that she just hasn't been able to tell you yet.
If you have, then I would give her a (gentle) ultimatum. Tell her that you care greatly for her but that you are outgrowing the telephone and want to move your relationship to the next level. Try to assure her as much as you can. If she still doesn't budge, I don't know. Are you prepared to have a "girlfriend" that you never actually see or touch, but only talk to on the phone?
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A
female
reader, nancyhasglasses +, writes (11 June 2009):
There is no such thing as dating on the phone. You can't fall in love with a person without spending time with them, over the phone you end up falling inlove with your picture of them. This sounds like some teen-internet drama. Get off the internet, get a hobby and find a girlfriend that has her own interests.
PS if she was everything you ever wanted, then you wouldn't be trying to convince her to meet you, you'd be okay with who she is. No woman is perfect and if you idolize her (fall inlove with your idea of her) you'll be mighty supprised to find out she has faults just like every other person in the world.
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