A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating this guy for almost a month now. Let's call him X. He's 39. I'm 22. I'm still a virgin and he's not. We've already done sexual stuff and he knows what he's doing. I, on the other hand, have not been able to get him off. I feel bad because I want to please him. But X constantly puts my needs first. And it's very considerate of him but honestly, it would give me pleasure to give him pleasure. It makes me feel like I'm not good enough when I'm trying to pleasure him. Sometimes he just stops me because my arm is getting tired.
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male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (3 February 2013):
 Have him show you what he likes. I've been the first for two women they've given a hand job to and both got me off n pretty good too lol. Just ask him what would turn him on while you are stroking him. Certain position he might like? Certain lotion? Telling a guy where to cum and pointing is a huge turn on and that could help too.
A
female
reader, Aunty Susie  +, writes (3 February 2013):
 If he wasn't happy to be with you - as things are right now - I'm sure that he would have moved on by now. He is probably understanding of your inexperience, give it time.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (3 February 2013):
Getting a guy off by hand job is very difficult. And even oral is challenging. I've never got off from a hand job and almost never from oral.
Those things are usually just there to help get to sex anyways. Assuming you'll be having sex sometime soon I wouldn't worry too much.
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A
female
reader, R1  +, writes (3 February 2013):
 Men enjoy pleasuring women so don't worry about that!Maybe get him to place his hand on yours and show you how he likes it. Men know their own penises better than anyone so he can show you how to make him cum.Maybe some lube to help?Or try really building up to it, tease him, flirt get him turned on before anything sexual starts.Confidence in the bedroom takes time, I sincerely doubt he has any complaints so carry on as you are and only take the next step when you are ready.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (3 February 2013):
 Sounds to me like your guy is really respectful and considerate, and he legitimately just wants to please you. And it doesn't sound like he's bothered by the situation at all. Although I do definitely understand where you're coming from with wanting to feel like you're making him satisfied. In fact, i have a gf, and she's never been with a woman before me, while i've been with lots. And she's constantly paranoid that she's "not doing it right." and at first, honestly, she kinda wasn't. lol. But with time, she got the hang of it and figured out what to do. We talked and communicated about it and I told her what I liked and didn't like. And trust me, it never bothered me ONE BIT that she didn't know what to do at first. Because I really, really cared about her. So that aspect didn't remotely matter. And it sounds like he's feeling the same way as me. It doesn't sound like he's too worried about it. So don't put too much pressure on yourself. Give it some time and you'll eventually learn what he likes and what gets him off.
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