A
female
age
30-35,
*21016
writes:I have been dating this guy for about 2 yrs now but he says he doesn't feel the spark and wants to be friends and we found out that I was pregnant! He got close to me again and was very supportive during the abortion and keeps teasing me that we should have anal sex from now on to be safe.. I'm really not sure where we stand and I'm too scared to ask him as he panics very quickly and has also mentioned before that he has commitment issues. We still go out and he kissed me very passionately yesterday and said that he was sorry and he shouldn't have said all those things. I am sooo confused about us!!! Should i leave or carry on? I really love him a lot!
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abortion, anal sex, spark, teasing Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (15 February 2016):
 I think the pregnancy scare made him realize that he isn't mature enough for all the things that comes with an adult relationship, but he doesn't want to lose you either.
It was good that he was supportive when you needed him. Doesn't mean HE is BF material.
And I hope you are on some kind of birth-control, so YOU don't have to go through another scare and abortion.
IF you can't ask him where you stand... what do you really have then?
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (15 February 2016):
 You write: "..I'm too scared to ask him as he panics very quickly and has also mentioned before that he has commitment issues."
Doesn't "sound" like much of a catch, to me. Why not move on to a guy who is closer to what you'd like in a B/F?
Good luck....
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (15 February 2016):
 He sounds like he is caring but doesn't have the maturity to be the partner you need. Don't try and hold on to this one. He will always resent you for it.
If you let go he might realise what he would be missing without you. Or he might just go.
At the moment he has the benefit of using a friend for sex without any commitment. Time to call a halt to that cosy little scenario. He's sampled the goods so he should buy in or back off.
He isn't the only man who will love you. Don't be scared to let him go. Sometimes you need to get rid of stuff to make room for something better.
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