A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So I have posted about this before but my head is still a mess.. Anyways, I'm a 20 year old girl, (not bigging myself up here) but I have a good job I've worked so hard for, and a boyfriend I've been going out with for 4 years who I know loves me very very much.It's always been in the back of my mind, since primary school that I used to get crushes on girls, mainly teachersAnyways it happened throughout the whole of school, even moving up when I went to secondary school, I fancied teachers and would obsess over them a lot, and come up with little reasons and analyse hints that made me believe they fancied me.. Nothing ever happened, I never told them and just left it as crushes.Let me add I also like guys too, I went to parties, kissed guys txt guys etc etc.. Anyway I got with my boyfriend at the end of school, and am still with him.. We have been on holiday etc and have lots in common. So since leaving school I have fancied 2 girls.. All older than me.. The first girl would not stop texting me, we went out but just as friends even though the txts were very flirty and nothing came of it..The second girl is 30, absolutely beautiful, and I have never felt this way about anyone else before. I feel so guilty on my boyfriend that I feel like this but I just can't help feeling this way even though I know it's wrong. The last girl who is 30 I met was on holiday with my Boyfriend and his family, it's his cousins friend. On holiday she was staring at me a lot, we all went out and got drunk a lot, I made her laugh, (I could be imagining this as I often do) when I got back home, I had an add from her on Facebook and she wrote on my wall that she likes a singer that I like since our holiday, and liked my photos on Facebook.About 3 weeks later my boyfriend and I went to a party near where this lady lives, and near where his cousin lives.. We went out for drinks and went back to hers and she fell asleep on my armWe left and now it's been 3 weeks, last week she posted a pic of me, her and my boyfs cousin and I put we will have to do this again and she replied I'm looking forward to the next time.I changed my picture on Facebook and She likes it straight away.. Just little things that make me think maybe she likes me... It's got to the point where I'm constantly checking her Facebook etc, I can't have sex with my boyfriend because I think of her, I feel so guilty, she is all I think about. Do I tell her? I could lose my boyfriend, all his family could turn against me... My head is such a mess, I'm losing sleep and just don't know what to do I don't even know if she is gay... I'm scared
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2014): You have to decide if you will be with girls exclusively or guys, but you can't have both or else you are in life's misery. Attraction and desire are one thing, but reality is another because people and love requires exclusivity. If you keep going from one to another, irrespective of gender, you are cheating and in the end everybody hates heaters.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2014): Well you need to end it with your chap before you start committing to girls.
Your main concern is the family turning against you. That's terrible what about your chap finding out his Mrs has now turned gay or Bi.
So end it with him then decide what to do
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2014): If you have a boyfriend and you are committed to him, why must you tell someone else how you feel about them? How would you like it if he was out checking out other women and telling them how he feels sexually-attracted to them?
You seem to confuse your emotional feelings with sexual attraction. If you're curious and want to explore your attraction to women, you must breakup with your boyfriend first. Otherwise, you ignore feelings for other people when you're telling someone you're with that you love them, and want to be with them. He may as well find somebody else, if your mind and heart is elsewhere. You don't even know if she's gay on top of it.
Isn't it time you practice some restraint and maturity?
What you want in the back of your mind is for her to tell you she likes you back; so you can then decide whether to cheat on your boyfriend, or breakup once you're certain you have a sure thing. Don't live a lie because you don't want his family to hate you. You should be concerned about HIS FEELINGS anyway!
Let's use some self-control here. You're all over the place. Perhaps you should be single for awhile; so you can date whomever you please.
Being committed means resisting the temptation to go after other people. Period!!!
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