A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:If your best friend of 4 years, and I mean we were very close girlfriends, confessed to you that your boyfriend had done something with her while they were both drunk on your couch after a long night of drinking heavily. By heavily I mean no one remembers how we got home to be honest. If she confessed that she and your boyfriend had done something, well he had done something only with his hands and she accidentally liked it, before they realized what was going on, and stopped it. Now she says she feels so bad and it was stupid and everyone was drunk and you mean more to her than that would you forgive her ever? It has been two years, we were very very close friends, we were so close it almost hurt sometimes when we were apart, and now, does she deserve forgiveness? She confessed the very next day. Me and my boyfriend are engaged and she has written me at least once a month begging and pleading and apologizing. Could you ever forgive and forget and let her back in your life?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2009): I think you should forgive her and get on with life, wouldnt you like to forgive her if that had happened to you? She was very drunk, while that is not a great exscuse, it still is one, adn she must really care about you for keeping asking for forgiveness after all this time, best of luck 3
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2009): Yes you should-she confessed immediately and it was your boyfriend who was in the wrong, he gave her that pleasure, she didn't do anything to him(or did she?). Forgive her, if you forgave your bf, why can't you forgive her? Why has all the blame been put on her and not him who seems to have got off pretty easily.She sounds like a lovely best friend and clearly values your friendship if she keeps writing to you-she was the bigger person admitting her mistake. Let her back in your life-we all make mistakes but she was brave enough to admit it.Best of luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your input, they both admit they never even saw this coming they don't even look at each other that way. And I guess I have forgiven her but I don't know if I want her in my life. I mean, I can believe a guy would do something like this but my best friend? Should I try to let he back in? It has been 2 years and I still don't know. She still writes but I don't know what to say to her.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2009): yes, forgive her so that you both can move on. BUT can you trust her again, can you trust her with your boyfriend again, and can you trust your boyfriend,full stop.although she betrayed you he did too. have you forgiven him? yes she got the brunt of your anger but he was also party to the indescretion.once forgiven if your friendship can then survive this incident then slowly rebuild the friendship. if you just cannot, then forgive but move on, seperately. I think you both will self destruct if you continue with this friendship.your friend also admitted to liking the "inappropriate behaviour" between herself and your b/f. Does she have feelings for him or was it just sexual. Do you view her as a threat in your relationship? I also think that your b/f has to account for some of the wrong doing. So whether he was motherless (alcohol induced consumption) at that time how did they know that they had to STOP. And did they stop? Its only their word about the incident. If consuming too much of alcohol is a norm in your relationship, i think you need to re-evaluate it, so that another incident will not happen. Next time, your b/f and a friend may just not stop in time. THEN WHAT?
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A
female
reader, say_anything  +, writes (3 April 2009):
 if i was in your position, i would try to forgive her. i understand the hurt and betrayal you must be feeling, this is natural, but the best way to make yourself feel better and move on is to forgive your friend. that would be so much better than staying angry, and is the mark of a mature, intelligent person. this friend has tried to atone for her mistake and been honest with you, showing that although she has hurt you, she does respect you and value you as a friend.
she has been your friend for a long time, and personally i believe friends are more precious than boyfriends, who may often come and go.
i think the more serious questions need to be asked of your boyfriend, who appears to have initiated this and not been as honest as your friend. i would give serious thought as to whether this is a man who you want in your life.
whatever you decide to do, good luck.
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A
male
reader, enjoimx +, writes (3 April 2009):
 Of course forgive her !! What do you have to lose? Give her some love she f'ed up, admitted it, and now wants to be your friend! You will be a much happier person if you forgive her and forget this. She meant no harm to you and was just overtaken by the moment. We all make mistakes, the beauty in love comes from overlooking those and loving people anyway!
Good luck
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