A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:A question, tho I think I know the answer.Girl I have been seeing for a few months told me on Monday night she was going to visit an old friend (a guy). I was very suspicious. It was eating at me. We have not been dating so long and I dont know the relationship to this friend but it still got me suspicious.Yesterday (Tuesday) we met up in the evening. She came over, ate dinner then were watching tv. At one point she got up to go to the bathroom. I know you are all gonna blast me for this but I looked at her texts quickly. Here was one from her friend she saw, sent to her early Tuesday morning at around 5 AM in reply to her text at 3:30 AM:"I got up an hour after you left. Why are you still up?"Could this mean anything other than that they slept together?? What else could "I got up after you left" mean?
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (25 August 2011):
 You are correct. You KNOW the "answer".... why spend even a few minutes thinking about it?????
Good luck....
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 August 2011):
 I have no idea what it could mean, but it could mean several other things than her sleeping with him.
If you're this suspicious of her so early in the relationship with no evidence of her cheating, then why are you with her? Sounds like a bother rather than a pleasure if you plan on keeping track of her actions and texts for the rest of your relationship.
Dump her and find someone you trust instead and keep those busy hands occupied with something other than snooping. If you feel the need to snoop then there is no trust, and if there is no trust there is no foundation for a relationship.
You CANT control her and keep looking for evidence. Only the stupid leave evidence of cheating in the open. If someone cheats on you chances are you wont find out. But instead of worrying about being cheated on, find a person who shows respect for you instead, someone who you know well enough to trust, and someone who is honest.
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A
female
reader, Claraw1  +, writes (25 August 2011):
 Firstly, you should not have read her messages. That being said, the message you read means nothing. I have had texts between me and my best friend because she fell asleep while I was there, and I can guarantee you that we did not sleep together as we are not that way inclined. If a relationship is to work you need to have trust, you obviously didn't trust her and if you ask her about the message you read she will not trust you, not exactly a great way to start a relationship. I wish you well.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2011): Suspicious, but not damning. People sometimes do fall asleep while their friends are around.
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A
female
reader, tash mendiz  +, writes (25 August 2011):
 I dont think so but better if you can talk to her directly & bit more deeply and understand whats on her mind (:
moreover you two need to improve trust,communication,emotional compatability and mutual understanding in your relationship inorder to make it a great one...in addition dont try to be a traditional boyfriend by not letting her move with her guy friends.show you are cool with it and it will lead her to be honest and trustworthy...and dont check your girl friend's phone even if you feel she is unfaithful and if you got caught checking her mobile the matters would go its worst 'cause women hate it -,-
love her worst at your best.good luck! :)
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A
male
reader, serenity80  +, writes (25 August 2011):
Just because he was asleep when she left doesn't mean that they slept together. How do you know she didn't stay over in a spare room or on the sofa?
You're in a tough spot now, because you didn't trust her, and you can't bring up that you went through her phone as you will probably get dumped.
Why would your girlfriend want to cheat on you? It is very suspicious thinking from you, and I think you are letting the green eyed monster (jealousy) get the better of you.
I suppose you can ask her outright if they have ever had a "thing" as this would be massive reassurance for you. But then again, you might hear something you don't like. And even so, it doesn't mean that they still now have anything going on.
I guess you have not really known each other for long enough to actually really know her, and trust takes a while to build. But to be in a relationship, you need to have to trust someone, and not always think the worst. I have to ask again. Why would she want to cheat on you? The vast majority of people do not cheat. You've been together a few months, you should both be having a great time together, getting to know each other.
If you can't let this go, you're going to need to bring it up -- good luck.
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A
male
reader, Thelaird1 +, writes (25 August 2011):
 As for reading her text, I'd never advise doing that. However, I think you were proved right on this occasion. Something seems to be making you not trusting her in the first place.
I think you should tell her outright that you had doubts and read her text, then question the meaning. Any trust issues need to be ironed out before the relationship continues
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