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Could there be anything there?

Tagged as: Crushes<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 April 2015) 5 Answers - (Newest, 13 April 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Don't know what to do??

There is this guy I know from years ago, I am friends with him on Facebook but we haven't spoken to each other properly for years.

We don't live close by to each other anymore and not in the same social circles.

We are both currently single and have time quite a shine to him as he has aged.

As we haven't spoken to each other for years and only made an odd comment now and then on Facebook.

Not seeing I wouldn't know if he would be interested as not around to see what sort of signals I would get if any.

I know it's a hopeless type of thing, but would be interested to see if there was anything there.

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (13 April 2015):

Fatherly Advice agony auntThanks Cindy for taking the time to flesh out my too short answer. It really is a low risk.

FA

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2015):

Thank you for the advice, that does actually really help, maybe a picture from years gone by could kick start a conversation, memory of good times, certainly worth a try cheers :)

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (11 April 2015):

CindyCares agony aunt I disagree with the " easier said than done " comment. It's only easier said than done if the OP attaches LOTS of hopes ( or worse , ALL her hopes ) of contentment and fulfillment in life to a positive result from this message, and from this man. Otherwise, what's the worst that can happen ? That he is not interested ?.. Then everything stays the same as now, and life goes on. A little disappointment, a little ego prick,- nothing epocal hopefully. I say the OP can handle it :).

It's a bit like buying a lottery ticket- it's improbable that you win something, but if you don't buy one, then you are sure you will not win.

Of course , if in your mind you are already all worked up about how you are going to spend your win, and knowing that, in fact, you haven't won, it's going to be a painful, destructive blow - then , better not doing it.. But if the OP can keep her expectations and anxiety within reasonable proportions, then it does not have to be such an ordeal.

Just an " hey what's up ? long time no see you. For some reason you came to my mind, and I thought I'd really like to catch up and have a little chat in front of a coffee ( or drink, or pizza ... ) Do you think we could do that one of these days ?..." Something along these lines. He is not going to sue the OP over that , I hope :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2015):

Easier said than done for someone you don't physically see, it's easy to make a comment on Facebook on something you would probably normally comment on anybody's, but what do you say, how do you go about, just send a message out of the blue. Nerves don't help much.

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (9 April 2015):

Fatherly Advice agony auntOnly one way to know.

Is he worth taking a risk?

FA

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