A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 20 and he is 36 and is married according to his FaceBook. When I first met my personal trainer, he kept looking deep into my eyes with the biggest smile. He then texted me asking how my day has been and when I am starting, to have a good holiday etc. A few weeks later when I joined the gym, I saw him and he gave me a big smile. We both happened to get into the lift at the same time leaving and he looked directly at me and then seemed shy and was looking down. He texted me a few days later asking if I am ready to start my PT sessions however the agreement was it for to be next month. I told him I'm going away and he asked for how long and said "happy new year, new you" Few weeks later, he messages me saying "wassup" asks how I am, to have a good rest, that we will "catch up soon" (not sure whether he's implying gym or?) and said goodnight to me. Then a week later or so he texted me saying "yo whats up! are you ready for a session? back yet?" I told him I was ready and he said "yay! Tuesday is the date! lets dooo it! pump it up" then when I had to cancel because I got sick, he was understanding and told me to get better. I had a training session with him today and he said when I saw him "I like you, you're funny" and would get quite close to me and a lot of the times our knees would be touching. Very touchy touchy. Or he would show something with his hands and then grab mine and put mine near his. I had to take my shoes/socks of for measurements and he looked at my feet for a good minute. He asked about how far I live from the gym. At one point I was doing a workout and my hair was in a pony tail and he would touch it and move it to the side. He was telling me quite a few years ago he was seeing a woman where I'm originally from. Asked about my siblings and other family members. Said to me that "I'm so small, he could just pick me up with one arm" Something I also noticed is that he didn't have his ring on.. And I've seen him in photos before with his ring on. When I was leaving, we both ran into one of the ladies that work there and he put his arm around me.The next session we were working out and he called me "babe". He joked about us having a session at 12pm and I told him he was crazy. I had a particular drink with me and at the end he said he wanted to try some of it. Then gave me some of his protein shake. Next few days, he asked me if I wanted to have more sessions as I need to improve my "posture" and I declined and he almost didn't take a no for an answer. Today he was even more touchy as it was our last session. I am going away for a few weeks and he basically implied he will miss me. "You're going for 2 weeks he says! How will I survive?" At one point we were joking around about something and he touched my thigh as if to say "keep going". He asked me if I have my license then said "so if I gave you my keys, you would be okay?" then he proceeded to talk about his family/sister/father. At the end of the session, he gave me some of his protein shake.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 February 2016):
 It sounds to me like he is just doing his job, he is getting paid to make people feel good about themselves, he sets them up with training and exercise but he is also massaging your ego so that you will keep coming back, and in turn keep paying his wages. There is nothing from your post that tells me he wants to have an affair with you. I think you are taking what he is doing a bit to seriously and not seeing that he is actually flirting as part of his job.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (29 February 2016):
 Here is reality.
He is doing his job.
He is technically old enough to be your DADDY.
HE is MARRIED.
He may very well find you attractive or have a crush on you, but as a a professional adult he will do nothing about it.
Flirting is FUN. I do it all the time. My husband laughs about it when folks say stuff to him as he knows I'm an outrageous flirt.
My trainer and I email, share drinks, text chat...I'm encouraged to schedule more appointments. I'm touched during the sessions. Encouraged, smiled at.. etc.
my trainer is a female and neither of us are interested in each other in a romantic way.
I just spent 4 weeks not wearing my wedding rings due to surgery. I even went out without it.
My husband occasionally forgets his ring too.
Some people don't wear their rings for working out or other things.
You are looking for clues that this will go the way you want aren't you?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (29 February 2016):
 Does it matter? The guy is married. All you are doing by entertaining this fantasy is shooting yourself in the foot and setting yourself up for heartache and heartbreak. At the end of the day... who does he go home to? HIS WIFE!
A lot of "personal trainers" are very flirty. They get to stroke someone's ego and in return get "worshiped" and used as fantasy fodder. The business, overall, is about the superficial. About getting the "right" weight or shape. It's about looks mainly. The flirty behavior is like honey for the "ants". People feel SO encouraged by compliments and a few flirty phrases that they forget common sense and also work harder at the gym and.... spend more money. They might also drum up more business for the PT and the Gym because they gush about it to others. When people FEEL good, they LOOK good.
I will quote you here:
"Next few days, he asked me if I wanted to have more sessions as I need to improve my "posture" and I declined and he almost didn't take a no for an answer."
Well, HIS salary might be dependent on number of clients and hours he spend training clients versus helping around the gym for "free".
Some PT's are inappropriate with the contact to their clients, some are not. Personally I see NO reason for a PT to be texting his clients unless there are change in the schedules. However it DOES work for the PT's in the way that the lines are blurred, their clients think that the PT's are their "friend" or is interested.
I'm sorry I'm not trying to knock you, but I think you need to look at this a bit more rationally. THE guy is married. He is paid to help you feel and look better. Of course he is going to lay it on a bit thick!
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