A
male
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:I am a 16 year old female and have been with my boyfriend for 11 months.Basically, I want to move out of my parents house and live with my boyfriend. My question is, could my parents legally stop me moving in with him? Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Tbonex  +, writes (27 June 2009):
 I have to totally agree with a reader, anonymous. That's what I was saying too.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2009): I think that you need to think about all the issues here.
For one thing, you do not mention how old your boyfriend is. This will be an important factor on how your parents feel about you moving in with him. Does he have a steady job, can he provide for you financially, and are you 100% sure you will still be together in 6 months/ 1 yrs time?
Also, what about school? You are only 16, do you want to go to college, get your A levels, go to university and get a degree? If you are living with your BF will you still be able to do these things?
What about finances? Is your BF prepared to support you financially while you go to school or college? Are you prepared to go out and get a job to help pay the bills and rent?
Living with a partner is very different from living at home with your parents. You really have no idea how much hard work is involved with running your own home. You are a teenager, can you be bothered to cook, clean, wash, pay the bills? Because this is what you will HAVE to do! You cant just come home from school/work and slob out in front of the TV. You have to come home and get on with the jobs that have to be done.
You will HAVE to do your own cleaning. Do you regularly clean your own room now? Do you offer to help clean your parents house? Or do you let your mum get on with it? If you dont WHY DONT YOU HELP?
You will HAVE to do your own washing. Do you do all your own washing now, or do you let your parents do it?
(you will probably also have to do his, as men are really bad at this when they think they can get their GF to do it).
You will HAVE to do your own cooking/grocery shopping. Do you cook the meals for your family EVERY day? Do you make them lunch, do all the grocery shopping AND pay for it? Could you go to a supermarket and buy food that was good for you and not spend all your money on junk and ice cream?
As well as this there are the bills, water, electricity, gas, telephone, TV licences, internet? Can you reasonably afford to put in your share, or do you expect your boyfriend to pay for everything? All these things your parents have been providing for you! You will no longer have the cash to go on shopping trips for clothes, and forget about going out a lot - you wont be able to afford it, as the bills have to be paid.
Do you have a weekend job? How much do you get paid? Do you parents give you an allowance? Can you live on this now? Would you mind putting all your wages into the joint pot for bills?
You are only 16, still legally not an adult. You cant buy alcohol, you cannot drive a car.
Moving in with a partner is not like playing house. There are very real consequences, and things do not magically happen. You will have to do everything for yourself. What happens if you have a row with your BF? Where will you go? Would you be able to stay with him if you had an arguement? Living with a partner 24 hrs a day can make or break a relationship. You see ALL their traits - and you might not like them. Their annoying habits of leaving dirty socks on the bathroom floor, or leaving empty coffee cups everywhere..... little things can get to you.
I think you need to look at your life - how much do your parents do for you now? Can you actually look after yourself yet? Are you mature enough to deal with all the consequences of moving out?
Personally, I would give it another couple of years. Wait until you are 18, when you are legally an adult, and can do anything you wish to do. This will also strengthen your relationship with your BF - if you are still together, you know you have something serious and strong. You can gain experience, finish your schooling all with the support and love of your family behind you, without having to worry about having enough money to put food on the table. By acting like a stroppy teenager and asking if your parents can legally stop you from moving out all you are doing is showing how immature you really are. An adult would know that they were too young to do this. You could be jeopardising your future life, job prospects and happiness by considering this. If you have to leave school now, you will not get a good paying job. Even 18/19 yr olds who go to university and live away from home struggle! They can't cope with it a lot of the times, and find it very difficult to balance finances and education - often the parents are providing the money. I doubt your parents will help pay for your rent.
Please reconsider this - you will only be ruining your life, and causing yourself stress and grief.
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A
male
reader, Tbonex +, writes (27 June 2009):
Well of course, with your age. Unless rules are totally different where you at. I know in the United States people are considered a minor at 16 and that would be unacceptable. If I had a daughter at that age and she told me she wanted to move out with some boy; I would be very infuriated. It's a good reason to that as well but I don't know what your situation is. Also, there is no need to rush with that; do you really think you're ready for all that? That's a different step in life do you want to take that so soon? You think you know this guy well enough to start living with him because sometimes once you're out on your on; you're on your own. Be smart and you probably shouldn't do that right now but once again I don't know your situation. Good luck with that.:)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2009): yes they can!! cuz you are a minor as per law.
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A
male
reader, JSBach +, writes (27 June 2009):
Under normal circumstances you can leave home without your parents' consent at the age of 17. Here is a link explaining your rights:http://www.childline.org.uk/Info/CrimeLaw/Pages/Rights.aspxUnless you are facing an abusive or neglectful situation at home, I would advise you strongly not to get into a war with your parents over it. Out of all people, parents are the least likely to let you down, and the most likely to forgive. Try to come to a compromise with them so you can sleep over at your boyfriend's sometime (that's one right they can't legally deny you at 16). Be safe, and don't do anything rash - I know you're in love and are convinced that you'll be together forever, but try asking some middle-aged couples when they met. I'll bet you it wasn't at 16, and they had both had a few relationships behind them. So, Don't Get Pregnant, and keep on good terms with your parents, even if they do act like idiots sometimes.
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A
female
reader, ilovecookies  +, writes (27 June 2009):
 If your bf is underage (not 18 or over) then its illegal for you both to live on your own in the UK.
Otherwise...Im not sure...hope you find out soon enough
xxx
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