A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Well I just got out of a relationship.. and for months he would send me mixed messages, I love you, or you're too attached and need to let go. It was getting crazy. I was his sexual partner for awhile but unlike him my emotions ran deep and it was becoming too painful to handle. I finally tonight blocked and deleted him from everything. He basically in so many words told me to leave him alone.. he needed space so I need to respect that. And I do love and care for him very much. But he was so nonchalant about me going.. when we were together he actually cared about me being in his life, now he's like bye bye see you later, don't let the door hit you on the way out. And that hurts deeper than anything I have ever felt. He basically just kicked me out of his life like some rag doll like I don't matter because all of a sudden he is meeting other women and lord knows probably giving them more time and attention and affection then he cared to give someone he claimed to love. Needless to say I feel deep resentment and hurt and anger.. I just walk all the time because it's the only thing that keeps my head straight. I am glad I've cut him out of my life in the sense that I don't need to love and care for someone who just indifferently doesn't give a rat's butt what I do or anything. I want to scream right now. How could I give me love to you while you're giving all of yours to these women who haven't been through half as much as I have with you? Anyway sorry for that long rant. I need healing bad, really bad. I have a male friend from work who has been so patient and wonderful with me. He seems to like me but we've made it clear no dating or anything till I heal up. I am not sure what I want at this point. I wonder if this male friend of mine could potentially help me on my road to recovery? I mean I certainly don't want to use him, or anything like that. I just mean maybe he'll distract me or show me I am worth something to someone. My ex never made me feel beautiful or very loved in the end. He held a lot of resentment towards me I know that..
View related questions:
I love you, mixed messages, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2012): no don't get into a new relationship yet while you're still carrying around so much baggage from your old one. Otherwise it's not fair to the nice new guy, you'll be dumping a lot of baggage on him, and putting a lot of expectations on him to make you feel better, and comparing him to your ex all the time. Even if it's mostly good comparisons, it's still not fair to him to be known primarily as the "opposite of the ex" rather than as himself. you'll end up latching onto the new guy rather than developing that relationship on its own merits.
you need to wait until you're over your ex and no longer in that deep dark place, before you bring anyone new into your life in the same capacity that your ex once was.
the new guy sounds very nice and like he would be a good boyfriend. All the more you shouldn't drag him into your baggage now or it could ruin a potentially good relationship. take care of yourself first, then when you're in a better place emotionally, then get involved with him.
A
female
reader, Wisdom  +, writes (27 March 2012):
 Woooooaaahhh Slow down there missy! For the first part of your post your rattled on about your Ex and then the nice guy at work only gets a short mention... I think you already know the answer here..... Simple fact is no. YOu are not ready to date anyone just yet. Take time to heal yourself, you can't expect nor rely on anyone else to do this for you. Once you feel complete again then you maybe able to go out on a few dates... start slow and take your time there is no rush here
Best of luck
...............................
|
