A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My daughter has just turned 17 and she says that she is still a virgin. I believe her because when she gose places she calls me every five minutes, but my cousins all believe that she has had sex. I think that she has not because she dose not go to many place she has never been to the doctor for anything of that nature because when something gose wrong with her she crys like a baby but she is 17 and sex is part of life I am pride of her if she has waited because I started at the age of 14 so should I worry or just let them hate on my baby
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cousin, still a virgin Reply to this Question
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female
reader, califnan +, writes (14 September 2009):
 Embrace you daughter .. drawing closer to her .. If you do not shake off the negative influence of the family members - it will hinder and hurt your daughter in the spirit ..
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all for your answer and I do trust my daughter the thing about it is that most of the girls in my family are having sex so they figure that she has as well the never want anyone to get ahead they feel she would be like all the rest having sex and babies they want her to fail thats all
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A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (13 September 2009):
 I think you have got to stop worrying so much about your daughter and start focusing on the real problem here - listening to idle gossip from relatives in no way to conduct a parent-child relationship. I would stop asking her about it because if she does need relationship advice in the future then she maybe reluctant to ask you if she thinks your response would be hostile. No one likes their children growing up but it sounds like your daughter is not a problem teenager so focus on enjoying the time you have with her. You should be proud of her regardless of whether she has had sex or not!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2009): i agree with emilysanswers. she nailed it on the head.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (13 September 2009):
 She might be, she might not be. Isn't that really her business? She will soon be an adult and whatever her current state, one day she will probably have sex.
Don't judge her one way or another. lets not forget that a lot of girls apparently don't choose when to have sex (rape) for the first time.
But a 17 year old being a virgin is highly possible.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2009): Why do your cousins have to be involved? It's not their daughter it's yours, if your daughter's always calling you then it shows that she's a mummy's girl (in a good way) and doesn't want to upset her mother, you and your daughter seem to have a good bond, don't spoil it by asking her about it all the time, have conversations with her about it just don't keep at her asking if shes a virgin, xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2009): She might be saying that because she thinks you want to hear it or she is saying it because it is the truth. The only one that knows for sure is your daughter.
I dont know how close you both are but personally if my mum asked me loads of questions about if I was a virgin or not, I would feel very uncomfortable. You should let her know you are there for her but I think that you should drop the whole thing.
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A
female
reader, califnan +, writes (13 September 2009):
Maybe you should take the time that you are spending with your cousins - and bring yourself closer to your daughter.. If she has had sex there is nothing you can do about it .. But I think you should take this negative destruction of your daughter out of yours (and her) lives .. and embrace your daughter - drawing closer to her lovingly
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (13 September 2009):
Why are your cousins so involved anyway?
Just tell them to bugger off.
What your daughter gets up to is none of their business.
As long as you talk to her and tell her that it's her choice, explain how no means no, explain how to avoid bad relationships, explain about how condoms work and if he says he doesn't like them then HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU....
Tell her all this and tell her she can be open with you and then let her get on with it. It's her choice.
Good Luck!! xx
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