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Could my boyfriend be watching porn because he's depressed?

Tagged as: Dating, Pornography<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 October 2012) 9 Answers - (Newest, 2 November 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My partner watches porn and says he does it because he feels depressed.

So, to the men... Is this just an excuse or could he be telling the truth?

Also, how could looking at pictures of naked women help him to feel better without masturbating over them?

Thanks.

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A female reader, Zaaleena United States +, writes (2 November 2012):

Agree with dmartin89 - normally its an escape through a fantasy. Whilst I think some people watch porn without masturbation - there is definitely at least visual stimulation.

Also agree with the self-medication point - if he feels sad and the porn makes him feel happy it will soon become a crux.

Try and have an open conversation with him about it but don't ignore your own feelings if they come across to you strongly

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2012):

Your partner likes porn and gets off on it. It's not any more complicated than that.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2012):

"So, to the men... Is this just an excuse or could he be telling the truth?"

An excuse. Guys look at porn for two reasons: they're horny or they want to make themselves horny.

"Also, how could looking at pictures of naked women help him to feel better without masturbating over them?"

He couldn't, that's why he's looking WHILE masturbating.

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A female reader, dmartin89 United Kingdom +, writes (31 October 2012):

dmartin89 agony auntIt could be either or.

I masturbate when i'm feeling sad because an orgasm fills me with endorphins and energy, the same if not better as the feeling you get after a great work out.

I also watch movies when i'm sad because they are an escape. Sometimes I do both at the same time.

I think it's feesable that he's watching porn as an escape and it makes masterbating more excitable. I don't think there is anything to be concerned about, unless he's doing it multiple times a day. It's a whole lot healthier to cheer yourself up with a wank than being on prescription medication.

Have you asked him why he thinks he's depressed? Or if it happens at any certain time of the day/year? A lot of people think they become depressed around winter time but really it's just a lack of natural sunlight and the cold temperate.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (31 October 2012):

person12345 agony auntI agree, he is certainly masturbating to them.

And people self-medicate with alcohol and drugs all the time for anxiety and/or depression, porn is just another drug.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (31 October 2012):

CindyCares agony aunt Of course he is masturbating over porn !, what else would he be watching it for?

Well, as an art lover , I must say that the vision of beautiful imagery CAN have an uplifting, mood enhancing effect. But if that was what he's looking for, he'd look at his nudes at the local art museum, or on the pages of some sophisticated David Bailey-style photo book...:)

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (31 October 2012):

Sageoldguy1465 agony aunt1. We (men) watch porn because we're horny!!... and,

2. It's a condition that he masturbate in order to feel good about looking at those enticing images of ladies.... IF he tells you otherwise, you can be CERTAIN that he is fibbing.....

Hope this helps. Good luck....

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A male reader, Hennessy1989 United Kingdom +, writes (31 October 2012):

Hennessy1989 agony auntPeople use depression as an excuse for many things, this man is not depressed, but may be down in the dumps about something, how is your sex life? Is it great or has it died down? If the sex has dwindled he may think you've gone off him, so he's turned to porn, a lot of guys watch porn but saying he's depressed is not an excuse really, what exactly is he depressed about??

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (31 October 2012):

YouWish agony auntIt's very possible he's depressed and self-medicating through porn. He's telling you the truth. Now, that doesn't mean that he doesn't watch porn when he's NOT depressed. Guys do it just to do it...it's an outlet for excess sexual tension.

However, I don't believe for a single second that he's not masturbating to them. Looking at naked women is done for one reason only -- to arouse oneself. It's not logical for a guy to habitually make himself fully sexually aroused only to stop. He's masturbating.

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