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Conversation with my boyfriend is difficult

Tagged as: Long distance, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 August 2011) 1 Answers - (Newest, 22 August 2011)
A female Viet Nam age 30-35, *andy89 writes:

So my boyfriend just left me for England last week. Since he got home, we have just talked to each other twice but both of our conversations were very boring! When i talk to my friends on phone or skype, we always have so many things to talk about and that's so interesting. When it comes to my boyfriend, he doesn't seem to have any fun stuff to talk about. Sometimes, we just went silent. I'm usually the one who starts the new topics and so on. I don't know if it's a bad sign because we planned to see each other again in 4 months (if everything is still going well). I just feel awkward sometimes as i find it a bit diffcult to join his convo. What should I do?

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (22 August 2011):

Fatherly Advice agony auntCandy,

I guess it would be easier to answer this with some more background information, but the story is pretty common, when a relationship transitions to long distance. I'm guessing that this is the first time you two have bee in a long distance relationship.

Often couples find that when the physical side of the relationship is shut down that they really didn't have much in common. Or now that he is not living near you he is less in touch with things happening near you. Now you are learning that he is not as fun as you thought he was when he was closer. His conversation skills may be lacking.

Start with shorter conversations. Think of open ended questions to ask him. write them down, so you will have them handy when you get an awkward silence. Conversation is a skill that can be taught and learned.

Keep in mind though that he may not be as interested in you now that he can't touch you. Long distance isn't easy.

FA

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