A
male
age
51-59,
*uman_male
writes:I'm forty two and recently met someone. She's thirty nine and single. We've gone out about half a dozen times, and cuddled a few times and made out three times. The first two times it was mutual and spontaneous. We were cuddling in my room and all of a sudden we were kissing.Everything seemed to be going fine. On Sunday we were watching DVSs at my place and I kissed her. She seemed into it, opening her mouth so we could touch tongues. But when I started to take it up a notch and caressed her breast she stopped and abruptly told me she doesn't want a physical relationship with me because she doesn't feel a spark.I'm really confused. I can understand she doesn't feel a spark and just wants to be friends, I get that alot, but why the kissing? Why didn't she say something earlier? Did I do something wrong?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2013): Kiss is a pretty innocent for most women, don't read too much into it. You are both grown up enough not to play games and go for it. Half a dozen times is plenty to go out and deside wether you want someone sexually or not. If there is no spark, then there is no spark.
What is a common occurrence for men to have sex with someone who they are not even attracted to, its not common for women at all, unless she is a sex worker.
If she is not attracted to you she won't sleep with you. I don't understand why she keeps on dating you and kissing you. I could understand the kissing happening once, but not repeatedly and then she tells you she has no spark.
I think she is a waste of time. Find someone who feels a spark.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (30 April 2013):
 I don't think YOU did anything wrong, I kind of feel like SHE did. She should have told you that she didn't feel a spark with you instead of leading you on.
If you are looking for a GIRL-friend, not a friend, I'd let this one go and keep looking.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2013): I agree, she likes your company but doesn't want a relationship.
If you can keep her as a friend.....much easier to meet a potential partner when your hanging out with a girl!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2013): That's pretty normal really OP, it's not unusual for a woman to be okay with kissing but not want to be sexual with you. Kissing is a fairly mundane thing that's easily given.
She didn't say anything earlier because she probably feels bad about leading you on. Or she is just enjoying being wined and dined and didn't want to lose you attention.
You did nothing wrong, but you're wasting your time with this woman. Onto the next one OP. Get rid of her.
She likes having a man kiss and cuddle her, it makes her feel wanted and desired. But she's made it clear that she's not into you and this isn't going to go any further. So stop wasting your time, money and emotion on a woman who doesn't mind confusing the issue by being intimate to a point.
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A
female
reader, dearlysaa  +, writes (30 April 2013):
maybe she has been hurt in the past so she dont know to be hurt again try taking it slow with her maybe you can talk to her about it
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2013): perhaps a kiss is alright, but fondling and anything more seems 'too fast' for her. she may also have past trust issues?
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