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Confused about my sexuality..can you help me figure this out?

Tagged as: Gay relationships, Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 August 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 30 August 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

hey ok since i was like 13 iv kissed girl mates i mean i was young u dunno what your doin and your confussed about everything but now there like 16 -19 with boyfriends and im 17 with no one iv tried to date guys but i always push them away iv watched porn but its doesnt turn me on if theres no girls on girls kinda thing now i sound werid i use to think i was bisexual but now i think im a full lesbian i think i might hate guys as well because my mum and dad split up and he was totally horrible i have no confidence anymore i hate my body and eveythink im a girly girl and boys like me i just can never do anythink am i a lesbian and how do i meet other people like me because i know no one thats gay im so confussed about my sexuaality and its messin with my head way to much thanks xx

View related questions: confidence, lesbian, porn, split up

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A female reader, MissHelp United Kingdom +, writes (30 August 2008):

Youre normal. Try hanging around different cliques and meeting new friends. You find out things about your new friends. I started hanging round a new group at school and brought my friends along too incase we found it was un to hang up there. We found lots of people that were lebian or bi or gay. youre not the only person out there. My new clique has found a friend of mine(she is female) find a girlfriend. you could also try out websites and chatrooms. Habbo has gay and lesbian rooms, plentyoffish etc. type in google under 18 lesbian chatrooms. you'll find someone soon enough.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2008):

Dating websites are pretty good. Try craigslist or plentyoffish.

~jen

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A female reader, PsyCookie United States +, writes (9 August 2008):

PsyCookie agony auntI would like you to read this article:

http://www.ehow.com/how_16939_know-gay.html

You have to take time to evaluate yourself. Ask about your feelings and try to come up with a response. We cannot really tell you what you are, and only YOU can figure that out. I know it's hard to do this because you're confused, but once you take to be by yourself in a tranquil environment the answers to your questions may come up easy.

Ask yourself these questions: "Am I sexually attracted to my own sex?" "Do I see myself in a relationship with a woman?" "Are my romantic feelings directed towards females than males?" If you answer yes, you might be bi or lesbian, but it requires a LOT more of evaluation than those three questions. Sexuality is not black and white and trying to define it with two words is hard to do.

For this reason, you shouldn't as of yet define yourself as something but keep your options open. Remember that you're still a teenager with raging hormones and probably when your body matures you will be attracted to guys. But what you have to do now is to just accept what you feel now and act wisely to your own feelings. Accept yourself as a person who is attracted to females and that has little feelings for guys. Don't place yourself in a one-word definition and just be happy of what you're feeling for now.

Also, a good way is to not stereotype. One of my friends who is really REALLY girly, kind of annoying in a way, is a lesbian and her girlfriend is a complete tomboy. Also, just because you hate guys doesn't mean you would be a lesbian. I have some hatred towards women (in general) for many personal reasons and experiences, but I'm attracted to them for some reason (I'm bi). You may hate a gender, but it doesn't mean you will NOT be attracted to them.

Now, I really don't know how to meet people who are the same as you because I just met my gay friends without seeking them (Most of my friends don't know I'm bi). But I know that the first thing to get closer to people who are the "same as you" is by start telling people you're a lesbian, and say it proudly (because you will get some harsh comments). Once you start saying this, some lesbian girls will aproach you and befriend you. There MUST be people who are gay in your school, but I really don't think you have looked properly. I never thought there were gay people at my school, but once I started socializing with lots of people, I just met them by chance. You should too.

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A female reader, smile92 United Kingdom +, writes (9 August 2008):

im am the person who wrote the last answer contact me if u wana talk, it so difficult to talk about. it would be good to talk.x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2008):

hi, your not the only one whos confused i am too!!

i feel the same as u, but i do fancy guys yet i just have no confidence with them. I also think i fancy girls too. Ive tried stuff with guys n eventhough i fancy them it doesnt feel right. Ive never done anything with a girl but im attracted to them. I only recently found this out on holiday in Florida, I was staring at more girls than guys which was pretty odd!!

some guys try to talk to me but now i just dnt know what to say to them because all i can think is that im attracted to girls he will hate me...

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