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Confused about feelings for my best friend. Do I tell him?

Tagged as: Friends, Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 May 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 15 May 2009)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I've known my best friend (a guy) since fourth grade. That's eleven years now (we're both 19). We both know what love feels like; we've been through our fair-share of relationships (long-term and short), break-ups, and heart-breaks. Somehow always managing to stay close and connected to some degree.

Well, we ended up breaking up with our exes within eight days of each other by complete coincidence. This was over five months ago. And we're both still very single and not really caring about liking anyone in particular right now. We're both just being 19 and enjoying being young. All of this may start to seem like some 'Oh, just tell him how you feel' kinda story but no...

I moved four years ago to a city that is about one hour and 13 minutes North of where he lives. We've stayed in constant connection, though. Facebook, AIM, phone calls, texts, even the occasional drive down there kept us "going". He doesn't drive up here because I don't allow him to, haha, it's just so boring where I live.

Well, today marked one of the few visits that I make (I try to make them as frequent as possible without breaking my bank). And yeah, it was great! We talked/laughed for hours about things we've already talked/laughed about and things that are new; it's just the way we work. Well, almost the entire time, I kept glancing at his cheek and his mouth. And everytime he would look at my face, I would look at his eyes just so he wouldn't catch me.

I realize that this is all really silly and I should probably just tell him how I feel and be an adult about it but I am truly afraid of what the outcome will be. He even told me he's not really sure if he'll like anybody for a while and I told him he should remain single for a while because he's 19 and should be enjoying life.

What I really wanted to say was, 'You should remain single until I'm able to afford to come down here more often so we can be a couple.'

Long-distance can owkr for him, his last relationship proves that. He and his ex lived like an hour and 15 minutes away... What's two minutes less going up North? But I don't know if I could personally handle that. I mean, we're not even dating and I'm thinking about this! I don't know, maybe something's wrong with me.

Should I even be feeling this way toward my BEST FRIEND?

View related questions: best friend, facebook, his ex, text

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A female reader, i.shadows4920 United States +, writes (15 May 2009):

I'm in somewhat of a similar situation with my best friend. I haven't known him as long as you have known you're friend, but i've really started to have feelings for my friend as well. I've always been somewhat shy when it comes to telling someone I like them and I'm scared to tell him because I don't know how he feels towards me.

Lol this probably didn't help but I wish you best of luck on your decision! If you do decide to tell him, leave an update! Good luck! ^^

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2009):

Hiya =]

It seems to me like you have been best friends for so long because you are so compatible with each other. It would be easy to say 'tell him how you feel' but it's not as simple as that.

To me it seems like there are only a few ways this can go. Firstly you can tell him how you feel, and then be with him for the rest of your life. Secondly you can tell him how you feel and then him not feel the same. And thirdly you can tell him how you feel, him feel the same back, and then a few years down the line realise it was a mistake.

I'm a bit of an optimist, and think you only have one life and should live it to the full, and if this is how you are feeling why not make a go of it. Even if it doesn't work out, i think you have been friends for long enough now to be able to work it out [you should watch the film 'my best friends wedding'!]

Try and organise like a DVD night, where you both 'snuggle up' and see if anything happens, and then you can maybe see where you stand. I think that the best relationships come from two people being friends first, think ross and rachel from friends!

Whatever happens, and whatever you decide to do, i hope it works out =]

Good Luck! xxx

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